Every Drag Race song that has verses from the queens ranked from worst to best
Release the beast: BIMINI!!!!
Since Read U Wrote U blew our tits off in All Stars 2, it’s now a RuPaul’s Drag Race ESSENTIAL to have at least a couple of episodes per season where the queens have to write and record their own verses.
And the results? Well, they vary in success, let’s just say that!
Some queens rise to the occasion and rival Nicki with their witty lyricism, and some should never put their gobs round a microphone ever again. For all our sakes. But which reigns supreme?
We’ve rounded up the 25 cross-franchise queens verse bangers. And this is their official ranking from worst to best!
25. Queens Down Under [Three and a Half Men Version] (Drag Race Down Under)
Fresh from the fiery depths of hell, this one. Truly, truly dismal. Maxi Shield’s verse is out of time and Karen From Finance’s verse feels like a cultist trying to make you sign your life away. If I never heard this again it would be too soon.
24. UK Hun? [Bananadrama Version] (Drag Race UK S2)
Potentially on the borderline of so-bad-it’s-good.
Joe Black’s verse is for the chaos history books purely for the ability he has to shove that many words into four bars. The choreography is evil, everyone does a bad job that’s only made worse because of how iconic their rivals were.
But we’ll get to that later!
23. Break Up Bye Bye [Filth Harmony Version] (Drag Race UK S1)
Very cursed songwriting plagues this one. The Viv’s strained vocals sound dreadful and the adlibs are a mess. Cheryl Hole sounds like she’s introducing the news at the start, not a girl band banger.
22. A Little Bit Of Love (Drag Race UK s2)
After the HEIGHTS of UK Hun and with three quarters of the United Kingdolls making top four, the pressure was ON for A Little Bit Of Love to top it.
And alas, it just didn’t. Bimini and Tayce do decent-to-great jobs with it respectively. Ellie and Lawrence make a pigs ear of it. Just was a bit deflating after the cultural reset that preceded it.
21. U Wear It Well (Canada’s Drag Race)
Priyanka – WOW. There’s always one moment where you know who’s won Drag Race. This was Priyanka’s moment where she won the season. The star quality jumped OUT.
Scarlett and Rita… I truly wish I was deaf. Scarlett’s verse is a load of garble about warpaint, stilettos and meowing and Rita Baga flicks between about 50 accents and characters including an evil alien bit that haunts me to this day.
20. Clapback (All Stars 5)
Just all a bit off? What the hell happened here?
Jujubee did alright, Shea’s verse you literally can’t make out a word she’s saying because the mixing is so shit and then Miz Cracker’s verse makes you wish you couldn’t understand a word. Miz Cracker’s flaw when writing her verses is she always tries to get too many jokes in every line and the result is that not one of them ends up working.
19. To The Moon (Drag Race UK S1)
We’ve got a decent effort here, gang. Everyone does a solid job. The Viv and Divina especially showed exactly why season one of Drag Race UK was a two horse race. It’s a job well done, but no iconic moments, and alas can not be placed higher.
18. Condragulations (Season 13)
Some huge wows here and some missteps.
The problem with the earlier queens verse raps sometimes is no one’s gone home yet and Ru hasn’t cut the wheat from the chaff. So when Condragulations has the highs of Gottmik, Kandy Muse, Symone and Olivia Lux – we must also contend with the pure evil courtesy of Elliott With Two T’s and the dismal verse from Tina Burner.
17. Queens Everywhere (Season 11)
For all of season 11’s flaws, Queens Everywhere really isn’t one of them. It’s high energy, the beat bangs and A’Keria especially nails her bit. The queens all mostly do a good job, with the exception of one.
Silky Nutmeg Ganache.
Silky has no place being on this song. She overstayed her welcome, and ruins the song because of it. She’s out of time, falls over in the performance and is just messy. A Drag Race low.
16. Not Sorry Aboot It (Canada’s Drag Race)
Chaos, anarchy and disaster. But it’s actually iconic, and I will take the punishment I deserve for putting it this high despite the fact not a single queen is in time during the performance and all the outfits are a shitshow.
The verses are so funny? Lemon’s is a cultural reset and BOA’s is so funny and well performed I wanted to crown her on the spot. A mess but… we love mess!
15. Queens Down Under [Outback Fake Hoes Version] (Drag Race Down Under)
I’ve made my feelings on Drag Race Down Under more than a little bit known over the last few weeks, but credit where credit’s due: this is a good effort.
All four of the queens do a really solid job, Anita and Etcetera especially wrote really well done verses and Coco Jumbo had no business going home for her effort on this. The verse is good and she performed well. Justice for Coco!
14. I’m In Love (All Stars 5)
Another vote for mess and chaos. Alexis Mateo’s “DADDY YANKEE!” verse should be in a museum and Shea’s Chadwick Boseman ode where she says “dreaming about Wakanda life you’ll live” is literally the best thing I’ve ever heard. Jujubee’s verse is fun, Blair’s verse is so stupid but pretty decent and Mariah is just a legend on earth.
Ongina wheezing through her sore throat on her verse makes me laugh every time, Mayhem Miller’s verse I couldn’t hum if you paid me 500 quid and India Ferrah’s verse is what I’m forced to listen to on loop forever in my personal hell.
But I’m in love, I’m in love, I’m in love with this monstrosity. And I make no apologies for that.
13. You Don’t Know Me (Season 12)
Right. The ONLY reason this is so high up is for two reasons. And those reasons are Jan and Jaida.
The fact they come right after each other is so satisfying. Jaida’s verse is an absolute sit up in your seat and pay attention moment. When she slaps her arse, it’s euphoric. Then Jan barges in with her manic, Rachel Berry verse and I just ADORE it. It’s so terrifying. It’s a horror film. Look into her eyes, and you will believe she’s killed.
Not going to waste my breath on the others. I’m a bit bias to this one because it’s so Chicago-esque and I was brought up doing musical theatre.
12. Drag Up Your Life (All Stars 3)
The worst of the two for this Spice Girls vibes All Stars 3 challenge, but still so much fun. Trixie’s verse is really well written, Kennedy Davenport’s SAY YES TO DRAG! YES, MA’AM, TO DRAG! I say about three times a day whilst attempting to do a high kick.
And then we have Bebe, uttering the immortal line rrrrra-ka-ta-titi-ta-ta, and history was made.
11. Lucky (Season 13)
By the time the final four performance episode of season 13 ran round, we’d all aged about 90 years. This season went on for decades, but at least this was a good way to finish it.
All four of the queens really nail it, the video is a load of fun and Gottmik needs to release a rap album with Symone.
10. Phenomenon (Season 13)
Tamisha! Iman! Is coming! For you! If you ignore the haunting verse we get from Kahmora, this is pretty spectacular.
Denali knocks it out of the GALAXY with her icy, spicy for you I’m too pricey vogue moment, Joey Jay does the job, Tamisha is beyond iconic, Utica isn’t unbearable and Rosé’s verse is outrageously well sang – but how she calls herself a fashion clown when she’s not known for her looks or her jokes is beyond me.
9. Sitting On A Secret (All Stars 3)
The most underrated queens verse tune in the mix. Period!
It’s so fun? Everyone nails it! Chi Chi sounds great vocally, Morgan does some weirdly calming spoken word poem verse, Aja literally does a Grammy worthy rap, Thorgy is HILARIOUS and Milk’s is so weird but great? Such a forgotten gem as far as I’m concerned.
8. Super Queen (All Stars 4)
When this first aired, the reaction from fans was TEPID to say the least. But it’s actually aged really well.
Super Queen is a bop, Monet and Monique both serve vocals on their verses and they suit the song so well. Naomi Smalls steals the entire show with this quite left-field dream pop verse with the best lyrics in the song (“Legs up to the sky you’ll see / Lips plumped like the old Kylie!”) and Trinity does… a maths equation! Cool!
7. American (Season 10)
One of the only songs here where all of the queens pretty much sing their parts and not rap, and it works incredibly well.
The performance is so brilliant – the choreography is so slick and complex and no one falls behind or misses a beat. Aquaria’s “turning looks, stunting pretty, I’m the bitch from New York City” is so quotable, Asia’s verse is really thoughtful and the “American dreams are built 0n words we did not say” line is a huge wow, Eureka is the worst of the bunch but isn’t bad and Kameron’s choreo is SHARP.
6. Category Is… (Season 9)
The best thing about Category Is is how different each of the top four is and how the song and the verses really allow them to play to their strengths.
Peppermint’s is such a fun opening and the name checking of the other girls works so good, Sasha’s is more theatrical and artistic and she’s so expressive in her delivery, Trinity’s is a bit weird but fun and you can’t take your eyes off her.
And then we have Shea. Shea deserved a Grammy for this. She channeled Azealia Banks on that stage. The outfit is so correct it just amplifies the verse. Slay Couleé – look at the edges I snatched tuhday!!!!
5. Break Up Bye Bye [Frock Destroyers Version] (Drag Race UK S1)
They really smashed it out the park. Break Up Bye Bye was definitely the peak of the first season of Drag Race UK and definitely deserves credit for solidifying the show’s popularity.
All three do great verses that are super quotable, and as the Frock Destroyers have now released a full album and toured the country. A SUCCESS!
4. I’m That Bitch (Season 12)
Every single second of I’m That Bitch is perfection, made all the more perfect by the fact Nicki Minaj was sat watching.
Brita smashes it, Crystal is a hoot, Gigi writes the best lyric on earth with “I’m just here to win and leave a bitch on read!”, Heidi flips and splits her way through a solid verse, Jackie looks camp right in the eye namedropping iconic Coxes with “Hey, It’s Jackie, Ms. Cox if you’re naughty! / Just like my girls Laverne, Deb and Courtney!”, Nicky Doll serves one of the best Parisian pop moments I’ve ever heard on her bilingual masterpiece verse and then Widow Von Du literally slams her puss on the floor and everyone else is left speechless.
3. Kitty Girl (All Stars 3)
Sheer drag EUPHORIA! Everyone kills it.
The fact it’s all been filmed in one take should have got it an Oscar for filmmaking. It’s a work of art.
Kennedy shows exactly why she’s such an old school pro, Bebe is camp as tits, Trixie has really fun songwriting and Shangela performs like Beyoncé at the Super Bowl. It’s flawless.
2. UK Hun? [United Kingdolls Version] (Drag Race UK S2)
The fact that a performance this incredible took place in the most satisfying and fun episode of Drag Race ever is the icing on the cake.
Eurovision. Drag Race UK. Match made in heaven.
Everyone nails it. The world was obsessed. Twitter had literally never been more alive. The way each verse gets better than the one before it? Lawrence does a good job, A’Whora does a great job, Tayce does an outstanding job and then Bimini Bon Boulash’s verse was so good they pretty much instantly became a national treasure.
RELEASE THE BEAST!!!!!
1. Read U Wrote U (All Stars 2)
The original has still not been bettered.
And that’s not to say nothing’s come close, it’s just the original is still SO GOOD.
Every verse of Read U Wrote U entered the gay history books. Alaska’s is so outrageously well written it feels like it could be on a Nicki Minaj album (“I’m Dorothy, you’re Toto, get in the basket!!!”). Detox also comes through with rap excellence, she invented slutdrops with “D to the E to the T to the O to the HOLD IT… X!” and Roxxxy Andrews verse is infamously bad but has reached cult classic status regardless. It wouldn’t be the same song without it.
And then there’s Katya. Wow. Wow. WOW. Just look at this verse for a second
But your dad just calls me Katya
Always keep ’em coming back for more
You’re a basic ass hoe and it’s your time to go
So bitch, let me show you the door
The only high class Russian whore
I’m a scorching hot mess in a skin tight dress
That’s a rash, not a herpes sore
Baby, are you ready for this Cold War?
The WORD PLAY going on? The historical references? It’s art. It will never be topped. Print it out right now and frame it.