You’ve only lived in an all girls house if you relate to at least 41/49 of these things

An all girls uni house is unlike any other. When you first sign the contract you have visions of a perfectly pristine house with cocktails every night and fit boys coming over to keep you company. In reality there is hair everywhere, everyone talks about going to the loo and many tears are wasted over sub-standard rugby boys.

This unique charm of an all girls uni house can be summed up in about 49 things. They are the essentials of what it’s like to live in an all girls house. The fridge contains oat milk, £5 rosé wine and emergency cranberry juice for when someone gets a UTI. The house is covered in fairy lights, vines and some form of boob decorations. And at least once a day the delivery man (who you’re on first name bases with) will drop off another ASOS package.

Girls will say multiple times a day they’re done with him (they never are), how stressed out they are and ask who wants to watch The Chase with a cup of tea.

This is everything you’ll understand and relate to if you’ve lived in an all girls uni house:

1. There is literally hair everywhere

2. And the shower is overflowing because no one can be arsed to get all the hair out of the drain

3. There is nowhere to stand in the shower because there’s so many shampoo bottles

4. The bathroom bin needs emptying nearly every day due to the amount to of pads and tampons

5. Old razors are littered around the bathroom

6. Your bathroom is essentially Boots

7. Someone has been gifted Liz Earle for Christmas and they will go off if any uses their hot cloth cleanser

8. There’s about five different half used micellar water bottles on the shelf

9. Nearly every room has fairy lights

10. And you never switch on the main light

11. The birthday banners and pink foil curtains will stay up for the remainder of the year

12. As well as the tinsel from Christmas

13. The sofas are covered in blankets and cushions

14. Every brand of gin is available on your window shelves

15. A candle is always on

16. And there’s plenty of empty Primark diffusers dotted about the place

17. The door bell goes once a day as someone is always ordering something from ASOS

18. “Can I borrow your Amazon Prime login?” is said on average three times a day

19. Polaroids and disposable camera pictures cover the fridge

20. The fridge has oat, almond and soya milk – no regular dairy is to be found

21. Some slightly off cranberry juice is kept for UTI emergencies

22. A half drunk bottle of £3 rosé is always on hand

23. A minimum of five avocados can always be found in the fruit bowl

24. Someone is usually cooking fajitas for dinner

25. You never want to be the one responsible for the “who ate my vegan sausages?” question

26. A day does not go by without someone crying

27. Some form of boob decoration is in the house – probably a print, a pot or a duvet cover

28. Hearing “men are trash” at least once a day

29. Daily discussions of how stressed you are

30. Which results in a “fuck it I’m getting Deliveroo”

31. There are random fake eyelashes on the kitchen table

32. And fake nails

33. Plastic vines cascade down every surface or other fake plants are everywhere

34. There’s a real life plant you all gave up on after three days and is now decaying

35. Daily trips to the shop is your regular form of entertainment

36. Drag Race, TOWIE or Friends are on repeat

37. But no one ever hears them as you’re always moaning

38. Usually about your period and slagging off the pill

39. Being incredibly happy all your periods have synced up

40. A casual night in calls for £5 wine from the corner shop

41. It is not a surprise to walk into someone’s room to see a vibrator or fluffy hand cuffs out

42. Someone will say this at least once a week “my skin is so bad, I’m breaking out everywhere”

43. And then proceed to eat a family sized bag of Doritos

44. “I need a poo” is your group saying at this point

45. Clothes are so communal that you forget who owns what

46. And getting ready for a night out involves frequent trips in between rooms to switch clothes and makeup

47. You’ve heard each other have sex

48. The washing machine is always on

49. Bobby pins and hair bands are both everywhere and nowhere

Related stories recommended by this writer:

•27 things you’ll find in every basic girl’s uni room

•You can only call yourself a posh girl if your bedroom has 31/37 of these things

•Here are all the signs you might be living in a ‘sad girl house’