Quiz: Order a Greggs and we’ll tell you exactly who to vote for in the election

Step 1: Register to vote before the 26th November 2019. Step 2: Pick a political party to vote for (or do that weird thing where you actually look up who’s who in your constituency.) Step 3: Realise that none of the mainstream parties are serving your needs and are all fucked up in one way or another. Step 4: Have a deeper realisation that they’re all more or less the same and politics is a game. Step 5: Erase all previous thoughts and take this quiz instead.

(P.S. Please don’t actually use this quiz to make up your mind who to vote for, use your head.)

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• Revealed: How many students at your uni are voting Tory

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• The starter pack guide to every single student during the 2019 General Election