There is nothing wrong with IDing tracks ‘in the rave’, people can do what they want

You're at some house night, you hear an absolute banger wob-wob-wobbing out the speakers. You're so hyper you have already sloshed half your beer onto the floor. You need to Shazam the song before it peters to an end. Fine, right? Well according to underground music magazine Mixmag this is no longer an acceptable thing to do.

Louis Anderson-Rich claims people need to stop IDing songs in clubs, instead we should be "in the moment". This is not the first time they have spoken about this, last year they wrote an ironic (but also not ironic) article on how to search for songs without anyone noticing. And putting controls on how people act in nightclubs is spreading: south London's Phonox gives out flyers on the way in that tell you not to take pictures, The Box Soho has a strict “no cell phones, no Blackberries, no cameras” rule and Cirque le Soir has asked people to put their phones away in the past.

Firstly, it is not the Berghain guys. Secondly, clubs are supposed to be spaces where you can do whatever the hell you want. Being embarrassing in clubs is a UK tradition. Where else can people get weird? I am not exactly going to get on the bus and start two stepping in a crochet crop top or asking people in Co-op, one side of my face melting, "you having a good night mate?"Just stop trying to control how people have fun. Mixmag sound like they want to police clubbers into drones that look straight ahead, silently swaying side to side.

Now I think about it, I can't actually remember a time when I was out and noticed someone Shazaming a song, so is it really an epidemic? Or are the people complaining about it too busy judging what everyone else is doing to enjoy themselves? Yeah it's annoying when there is some Rugby lad firing up a highly unnecessary mosh pit at a Funk and Soul night, but just grab your mate, do a shit version of a twerk (hip wiggling rather than independent ass movement) and you'll forget about the bulking body pressing into everyone. I get the whole put your phone down argument when people are practically vlogging the dance floor but I only notice phones coming out for literal seconds. A quick Shazam of a Hunnee track, some girls turning their torch on to find a hoop earring which just got dragged out in a dance pit.

The problem with IDing music seems to be less about everyone doing it and more about people thinking they have ownership over music. The type of people who earnestly discuss "being in the rave" and get shady when you ask stuff like, "who sings that song that goes duh, duh, duh, duh, DA?" When they reply: "you haven't heard it?" you become too embarrassed to point out that they never actually got round to telling you it's name.

Or you turn up to a techno night and they say, "I didn't think you were into this kind of music?" absolutely recoiling at you. It is the music version of "I didn't know you smoked?" These guys will make you feel awkward when you dance to "I bring you flowers in the pouring rain" calling it a "bate track" and you're like, but it is the only one with words to sing to???? Basic people want to have fun too.

The thing is, music is supposed to be for everyone, some guy in a tiny beany and a Stüssy five panel can't ™ certain songs. I am not well versed in the politics of DJ copyright (plz do not eat me alive) but I am pretty sure most of the people Shazamming the latest Patrick Topping beat are not off to claim it as their own on Soundcloud, they probs are just gonna play it in the background as they revise for their Northumbria University Psychology exam.

So how do Mixmag propose we find music if we are not allowed to identify it in the club? Well, apparently we should "leave the IDing out of the club and use your hours outside of it to go online or dig for tunes in your local record store."

Eh, this is not the 1960s? Do you also think that men should wear flares and bring back the word "groovy"? It is nice that you enjoy doing that kind of thing, but most people are too busy catching up on First Dates and trying to eat food that isn't a ready meal to sift through records at vintage shops.