A thorough, detailed investigation into where the Made In Chelsea cast went to uni
They didn’t all go to Leeds, you know.
I've only ever watched one episode of Made In Chelsea. It was under duress at a dinner party, and I was eager to impress some new colleagues. Though the drama was cool and I was impressed with how they stood at angles normal people just don't stand at whilst talking, it was hard to connect on an emotional level with the unfamiliar cardboard cutouts of real people before me on the screen.
In a desperate attempt to humanise them, I decided to try a variation the UCAS approach – determining a person's qualities from the brute facts of their education history – and find out as much as I could about their university days. What else?
Below is the sum of my findings. Any omissions, including 'Funda', are left out because if details of their uni days exist, they're hiding behind more than three Google searches.
University of Leeds from 2008-2010, studying Theatre and Performance. I can picture him right now, on the Otley Run.
He even appears in halls from time to time to snack from students' Tupperwares, a penchant for turning up unexpectedly he's carried through to Ibiza (this is a reference I've been told to put in).
“The reason I went to Leeds was because I'd fallen in love with a girl and followed her there," he told the Evening Standard, a lack of academic motivation which might explain why he got turned off the whole thing.
“I was so bored in my lesson, and I thought, ‘I just don’t want to do this anymore, I need to go into business’.” he told the Yorkshire Post.
It was during her time studying Philosophy at Leeds that Caggie met Jaime Laing.
Knowing her intellectual tastes, Caggie's instagram posts take on a somewhat more wistful, ponderous nature.
However, according to the Standard she gave up on Leeds after a year to study acting at the Lee Strasberg Institute in New York.
Along with every other student at Cardiff Met, Ryan Libbey did Sports Biomedicine and Nutrition and got a 2:1. Now, he looks how every Met student imagines themselves.
No wonder he's able to hold Louise Thompson aloft without so much as breaking a sweat.
Ollie only managed to complete a year of a property course at the Royal Agricultural College, the Cirencester uni rated as the country's poshest.
The Guardian say that he was bullied horribly, but he did “go off-roading at night and shoot rabbits.
“I got quite good at it," Ollie told the Mirror.
Swings and roundabouts, really.
The video of Spencer reading out stock prices has managed to reach even me out in my personal cultural backwater, so I'd assumed he studied Economics or something.
Wrong. Mr Matthews only did nine months of uni, and that was nine months of film at the University of Southern California, in LA.
And sure, he says he's only ever read four books, but his brother married Pippa Middleton, so in a sense he's tangentially royal.
Some sources say Toff studied Politics, a hypothesis strengthened by this post-Brexit take.
However, going by her agent's page, Georgia 'Toff' Toffolo did in fact graduate with a Law degree from Westminster – a period of academic nirvana blighted only by a fellow student calling her a “Chelsea cunt" on her first day, according to the Telegraph.
Louise graduated with a BSc. Hons in Geography for Edinburgh in 2013.
Impressive, but clearly spurning her initial ambitions – she did an internship with PSL, a Latin American software company in 2004.
Daring Rosie made the journey south of the Thames to study History of Art at Goldsmiths from 2008-2011.
Now she runs Rosie Fortescue Jewellery, which – considering her time at Goldsmiths – is a classic case of nominative determinism.
Frankie notoriously dropped out in her second year of Business Studies at Bournemouth after being offered a place on MIC.
Her list of extracurriculars screams of the old 'go twice, get accepted to the facebook group, put it on your CV, never show your face again' trick – Hockey, Netball, Athletics, Advertising, Marketing Society, Wildlife Conservation Society.
As close as the MIC cast comes to a proper academic, Francis began studying Philosophy and Economics at the University of Edinburgh in 2007. You know he took it seriously because his agent's website says he 'read' the subject, not studied it.
While at uni, he was a member of the Polo Society, as well as the Trading and Investment Club,
During this time, the onset of the financial crisis and the wild effects it had on the gold market sparked his interest, he tells Business Insider. Ghana beckoned, and he spent three years mining the metal there.
Not content with his achievements thus far, Francis also did a postgrad at Regent's in London, the UK's second private university. Very MIC.
Since then, he's been invited to speak at a conference held by the Institute of Economic Affairs, a feat topped only by the 48 skills he's been endorsed for on Linkedin.
From the look of things, studying History of Art at UCL is the least posh thing Mark-Francis Vandelli Orlov-Romanovsky has ever done.
There, he researched Spanish Baroque, a field that necessitated speaking Spanish and Portugese, say the Standard. He added these to the three he grew up speaking.
In a tale that is now legend, Alex 'Mittens' Mytton bagged himself a 2:1 in History from Brookes.
Now, he's reliving a facsimile of the true Brookes experience, DJing at student nights, and being generally unfaithful.
Geography at Leeds! Andy graduated in 2012.
Following in the footsteps of his academic namesakes – a professor in Environmental Sciences at UEA and a lecturer in Performing Arts at Lincoln – the Made In Chelsea edition of Andy Jordan entered academia to give a guest lecture for the level 3 module “Media Geographies," presumably waxing lyrical about his vast experience of the media landscape.
He's no stranger to the lyrical side of things, either, telling guestlist he wrote a song called “A whole lot of water" while at uni. So he was that guy in halls.
Studying Fine Art at Newcastle in the 2006-2010 golden years may seem like a wasted endeavour for Proudlock, despite being friends with Caggie's older brother there.
But, lo and behold, 11 people have endorsed him for Art on Linkedin! The degree worked!
The Sun say she moved to London a year ago from Canada. There's scant information available on her time at university.
This facebook post suggests she went to Dalhousie University. Founded in 1818, the Nova Scotia university is one of Canada's leading research institutions.
Make of that what you will
Newbie Ella studies Economics at Edinburgh, loves Thursday nights at Bourbon, and travels between Edi and London once a week.
Daisy graduated from the London College of Fashion in 2016. With a Masters.
In International Fashion Management.
Please choose one, Daisy.
Studied Music and Languages at Bristol, although looks like the kind of guy to accost you at 2am to tell you music is a language – the universal language.
His language of choice is Arabic, which he learnt at Bristol.
Victoria studied at arty haven UAL before going on to Regent's College, the same private uni as Francis.
Hugo studied History of Art at the Courtald Institute of Art.
This means he went to uni in Somerset House.
This is Somerset House.
For someone who posts so many motivational captions no his instagrams, it's only fitting that Akin got a 2:1 and was a member of the Political Debate Society.
Akin studied English Lit and Philosophy at St Mary's University College, Twickenham. It's the oldest Catholic uni in the UK, but I reckon the rugby fanatic chose Twickenham for entirely different reasons.