Fear not, freshers: The best clubbers in the UK is back
Come look at these pictures of the new freshers having a right bloody good time
Bobby PalmerYou’ve waited all summer. You’ve lay in bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling fan, the steady beat of the grandfather clock ticking down until the exact moment it would happen. Soon, you said. Soon.
Well, the time is here. Freshers’ Week has arrived, and with it we’re bringing back our nationally-renowned series highlighting the Best Clubbers in the UK this week™.
Feast your eyes on the lot below, and don’t worry if you get to the end and still want more – just tune in next weekend for more of the same.
Most terrified clubber of the week
There weren’t crowds like this down south
Best professional ten-pin bowler
With this ball, I’ll rain destruction on those pins
Best ‘I’m watering my hydrangeas’ impression
They thrive in rich, moist soil and partial shade
A pictorial representation of my love life
Why does Greg always get the girls and I’m left with nothing?
THAT’S A FOUL
Any more of that behaviour and you’ll be off, son
I didn’t mean to intrude on your picture guys
I’m just over here stubbing my toe
Wait a second, Angelina Jolie is single?
Then why am I wasting my time with you two?
Ryan Lochte is sorry for his behaviour in Rio
His wife and his daughter still stand by him, though
Sommelier of the week
Ah, a peachy blend with fantastic minerality
And now, Question Time
Mr Corbyn, do you believe we should pay more in taxes in order to keep the NHS afloat?
The claaaaaaawwwwwww
The claw chooses who will go and who will stay
Yeah we’ve all seen them mate
Take your plastic fucking note elsewhere
The guy on the left is just too damn polite
If you do it with your hands it still counts as cursing
Why hast thou forsaken me, God?
I followed thine commandments good and true
Wait, where’s the DJ?
Those decks can’t be playing themselves
Them: ‘Do you think you’re being a bit full-on tonight?’
Me:
These eight awful MAFS Australia editing errors prove this season was the most staged EVER
Ellie RingI can’t believe these all went by unnoticed?!
Guys, Hinge has added a ‘hidden words’ feature that lets you block people from your likes
Emily SmithLong walks and Sunday roasts be GONE
A deleted scene from Baby Reindeer showed how things really ended between Donny and Teri
Phoebe KowhaiFive months after the events of Baby Reindeer took place, the real Teri left Richard a voice mail
Raving to radio: Everything Richard Gadd did after the real life events of Baby Reindeer
Francesca EkeHe even had time to go travelling
‘She inspired me’: Everything Nava Mau has said about playing Teri in Baby Reindeer
‘When I read the script, I could tell that Richard really loved her’
Jess has accused Callum of cheating on her with fellow Love Island star before their split
This breakup just gets messier and messier
What have Sara and Tim been up to since leaving the drama of MAFS Australia 2024 behind?
Tim seems to have dropped off the face of the earth
Student jailed for stabbing his housemate to death after a fight over his music taste
Syed Hussain-Kazi called his housemate a homophobic slur before stabbing him with a kitchen knife
Jack reveals MAFS Australia producers forced him to change his vows ‘six or seven times’
As it didn’t fit ‘the theme’ they wanted for their storyline
Omg, Jayden tried to sell the bracelet he got Eden on MAFS Australia for extra cash
And asked if Eden wanted to split the profit
If you can’t wait for season four of The Umbrella Academy, here’s what else the cast is in
I need my daily dose of Klaus
Kaching! The Russell Group uni subjects you need to study if you want to be a millionaire
Awkward time to be an English student x
17 years since it first aired, this is who from the Skins cast is actually still friends
Iona MacRobertI wish I was invited to their lunch reunions
A side by side comparison of Black to Black’s cast and the real people they played
Jess LawlorThey got the beehive spot on
Baby Reindeer: A psychologist has explained why Martha always used ‘Sent from my iPhone’
Despite not even owning an iPhone
A look at Richard Gadd’s intense transformation in order to appear ‘neurotic’ on Baby Reindeer
He drastically changed his appearance for the series
There was another chaotic editing error on MAFS Australia 2024 last night and it’s CARNAGE
How did the producers miss this?!
The five fashion trends all the cool girlies are wearing to festivals in 2024, according to Pinterest
Grace VielmaThe lewk bewk isn’t ready for this
Matty Healy has addressed Taylor Swift’s ‘diss track’ and is characteristically unbothered
‘I haven’t really listened’
Everything Lauren has been up to since leaving MAFS Australia 2024 like an absolute queen
She’s an icon, a legend and she is the moment