All the rogue costumes you’ll no doubt spot at a Glasgow Halloween party this weekend

You walk into a flat party and instantly know you’re in hell. Everyone’s dressed as something you don’t get — a cursed blend of TikTok brainrot, 4am X discourse, and whatever fresh meme hell the algorithm spat out this week. It’s not fancy dress; it’s a chronically online fever dream. You’re clutching your drink, pretending to laugh, and quietly realising you need to touch grass.

Welcome to Halloween 2025: the “if you know, you know” Olympics.

Louvre robbers

@gabhope_08

Just got back, keep it on the louvre #heist #lourve #diamonds #halloweencostume #funny

♬ Pink Panther Intro – Henry Mancini

First thing you clock at the party: A trio in high-vis vests and black overalls, dripping in plastic gemstones like budget Bond villains. They grin and say they’re “the Louvre robbers,” which you assume is a bit until you notice one necklace looks suspiciously heavy for something off Amazon.

For a brief, glittering moment, you think—if anyone was going to actually nick the crown jewels of Paris—it’d be three weegies with a Ryanair flight and a dream.

Rodrick x Regina George

@idekwhyiamonhere123

first costume of the season to make the ship edits proud #reginageorge #rodrick #diaryofawimpykid #meangirls #fyp

♬ Dirty Little Secret – The All-American Rejects

If your FYP looks anything like mine right now, it’s 90 per cent Rodrick x Regina edits set to Teenage Dirtbag. That’s right — 2004 called, and it’s thrilled to see we’re back to cross-fandom ships that make absolutely zero sense. Somewhere in the algorithmic trenches, a Wattpad author is being reborn. This writer is delighted — but also mildly concerned. Is this a recession indicator? Are we seconds away from a Jelsa (Jack Frost x Elsa) revival? God help us all, the 2000s fanfic girlies are so back.

Performative male

https://www.tiktok.com/@sspencerevans/video/7531566121787378974?q=Performative%20male&t=1761754941408

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He’s got a mullet and a tragic little moustache — like a Wish.com version of Benson Boone. He’s sipping an iced matcha, holding The Feminine Mystique upside down, and carrying an eco-friendly tote bag with a Labubu keychain hanging off it.

He’s standing dead centre in the room, aura farming like his life depends on it, delivering unsolicited monologues about “the male gaze” to girls dressed as fairies. His fly is undone. He hasn’t noticed. You’re not telling him — it’s part of his character arc.

Nothing Beats a Jet2 Holiday

@soph_xo42

The real jess glynn is in the building #fyp#foryoupagе#halloween#jet2holidays @Flo 🙂 @jet2 @Jess Glynne @EPA

♬ original sound – the real professor chaos

Someone’s walked in blasting “NOTHING BEATS A JET2 HOLIDAY” from a tinny Bluetooth speaker, and suddenly the flat feels like the departures gate at Glasgow Airport. One’s dressed as a Jet2 air hostess with red lipstick smeared like she’s been through turbulence and divorce, one’s giving Jess Glynn circa 2015, and the third is in a Hawaiian shirt with an inflatable rubber ring and a piña colada, like they’ve just come from an all inclusive in Benidorm.

‘This is fine’ meme 

@justashlyntaylor

This is fine. 🔥 My costume is fine. 🔥 Everything is fine. 🔥 Happy hallow-meme, y’all. 🔥 #halloween #halloweenlook #halloweencostume #thisishalloween #thisisfine #thisisfinedog #meme #meangirls #costume #costumeideas #costumeparty #spooky #spookyseason #diy #diycostumes #cosplay #levis #abercrombie #nike

♬ FOLLOW ME sarahk1m – Sarah Kim

He’s wearing a dog mask and a cardboard flame cut-out. At 11pm, you find him sitting on the edge of the bath, muttering “this is fine” into his drink. Art imitates life.

Controversial faves duo: Luigi Mangione and Charlie Kirk

You don’t know who invited them, but they’ve been arguing about taxes since they arrived.

Oompa Loompa (Glasgow Experience edition)

@scottishoompaloompa

That’s me on cameo! Ready to take on requests from your Scottish Oompa Loompa. Link in bio and below 👇 https://v.cameo.com/e/052hZ7U8GHb #thankschrissyteigen #wonka #wonkaglasgow #wonkaexperience #glasgowwonkadisaster #oompaloompgal #sayinghello #scottishtiktok #viralvideo

♬ original sound – ScottishOompaLoompa

Classic Glasgow student flex: orange face, green wig, and clutching a half-deflated candy cane and a VK. Guaranteed to give local kids PTSD, she shouts “Oompa Loompa doompa-dee-doo” while waving a Tesco meal deal and muttering about the chocolate catastrophe she’s just survived.

Her fake tan is streaking, she reeks faintly of vape juice and despair, and she’s fully convinced this is the peak of immersive theatre. Only in Glasgow.

‘It’s not clocking to you that I’m standing on business’

@claireyybearyy

It’s not clocking to you #justinbieber #halloweencostume #standingonbusiness #fyp

♬ Money, Money, Money – ABBA

He’s literally just standing. In a blue hoodie. In the corner. For hours. Every time someone walks past, he whispers, “you got that yummy-yum.” You nod and keep moving before he starts singing ‘baby baby baby ohhhh’.

Glittery green eyeliner smudged to hell, messy fringe falling from a bun, and lip gloss so glossy it’s basically reflective. She’s leaning on the wall, swaying like she’s in a music video — but really she’s fighting for her life not to chunder in an Uber after polo.

Clutching your flatmate’s cheap-ass screw-top rosé like it’s Matty Healy’s neck (or maybe Travis Kelce’s wood teehee), she twirls a comically fake diamond ring and mutters, “you girlbossed too close to the sun.” A guy who looks like Cillian Murphy rolls his eyes.

The lion who does not concern himself

He’s leaning against the kitchen counter in a matted Depop fur coat, sipping a warm Bud Light and acting like he’s the main character of a gritty student indie film. He keeps quoting, “The lion does not concern himself with the opinions of sheep,” like he invented stoicism.

The lion does not concern himself with pre-seminar reading.
The lion does not concern himself with the 9am at the Boyd Orr.
The lion does not concern himself with the fact the subway has stopped running and he lives in the Southside. 
The lion maybe should concern himself with the fact he got so drunk he tried to scan his Tesco Clubcard instead of showing his uni-days ID.

Coldplay CEO and mistress scandal

Finally, the Coldplay cheating scandal costume — you know, the CEO who had to resign after being caught with his mistress on the kiss cam. They’ve got concert wristbands, casual clothes, and a pearl necklace. Def that insufferable couple who turn up as a pair and can’t stop snogging in the corner. No scene more terrifying this Halloween.

Featured image via Canva and TikTok @idekwhyiamonhere123 @justashlyntaylor