A release day ranking of all the songs on Lady Gaga’s new album Mayhem

Mayhem is here. The paws are well and truly up around the globe, because Lady Gaga has bestowed her seventh album to every hungry mouth that wants a taste. The taste in question? Seemingly nachos. Reheated ones at that, but Lady Gaga will tell you that regarding that meme they’re HER nachos that she invented, and she loves and is proud of them. Period, I guess. Mayhem was promised to be a genre jumping record proving it mayhem in name and nature, and does Lady Gaga deliver on this promise? Somewhat. It’s a jumping around of musical style and vibe – mixing dark synth maximalism with heavy retro 80s and 70s grooves and whilst it’s not a perfect record it’s a decent collection of bangers that sees Gaga be more full throttle than she has been in years. Now, on my seventh listen, here’s a release day ranking of every song on Mayhem – the new album by Lady Gaga.

14. Blade of Grass

The staple Gaga piano ballad. Whilst it has a lovely story – the grass being a ring that Ga’s fiancé Michael Polansky wrapped around her finger when he proposed – I don’t think it has the interesting lyricism or melody that make Gaga’s best ballads so essential.

13. The Beast

I do feel like Mayhem runs out of steam towards its end, it is a record that goes out with more of a whimper than a bang (until you get to the tacked on megahit we’re yet to discuss). For me, The Beast reaches for big and cinematic and never delivers on its promise. Her vocals sound amazing of course, but don’t they always?

12. LoveDrug

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An extremely serviceable 80s tinged synthy bop that does exactly what you want from an inconsequential album track, without ever leaving a lasting impression.

11. Die With A Smile

And now we get to the trickiest beast to place in a Lady Gaga Mayhem ranking. Die With A Smile is an incredible song – great American songbook-esque retro balladry. Gaga and Bruno Mars give some of the greatest vocal performances of their respective careers. It has been one of their biggest hits ever – dominating charts and streams. It’s brilliant. And I like it more on every listen.

Where I’m less hot on it is how it fits with Mayhem. Gaga initially announced it as a standalone single, and then clearly added it to the album after some label interference after it became a megahit. And also likely because lead single Disease didn’t perform that great commercially. So, I’ve put it near the bottom because whilst it’s a great song – I think she should have stuck to her guns and kept this one as a standalone single.

10. Don’t Call Tonight

Big Dua Lipa Future Nostalgia era groove to this one, which is no bad thing. Sort of lacks that really special GAGA thing that elevates her work to one that is more culturally interesting.

9. Garden of Eden

Love how Garden of Eden has a trashy, 00s Heidi Montag vibe to it in its crunchy production and The Fame-era lyricism and bratty delivery. Very young Gaga coded, and whilst I don’t love every bit of it I do love how much it reminds me of the hidden gems lurking amongst Britney Spears’ Circus album tracks. Kill The Lights nachos!

8. Vanish into You

This is how the ballad end of songs on Mayhem should sound to me. Not a full ballad, but a moodier and more dramatic affair. It really reminds me of Pet Shop Boys sonically – aka, the greatest band in the history of pop music. How could it not be amazing?

7. How Bad Do U Want Me

THERES TAYLOR SWIFT BACKGROUND VOCALS ON HOW BAD DO YOU WANT ME BY LADY GAGA #MAYHEM pic.twitter.com/Beas1Ec8zU

— khia asylum creator (@POPATEEMYHEART2) March 6, 2025

Extremely divisive Mayhem song in this Lady Gaga ranking alert! Despite the fact this tune samples Yahoo’s Only You, everyone is talking about how Taylor Swift coded it is. In fact, some are spreading the rumour that Taylor herself features doing secret background vocals. Whilst this is very untrue, it is however VERY true that this song sounds melodically extremely Swiftian.

I’ve had a bellyful of Taylor Swift, but this song makes me nostalgic for when Swift was making music that was a t the forefront of gorgeously written euphoric pop. So, in that sense, I kinda love this from the Ga.

6. Shadow of a Man

One of the most instantly groovy and irresistibly dance tracks Ar Stef has ever made. Simple as, really. As my nan would say, it’s a toe tapper!

5. Zombieboy

So much of Mayhem has a throwback sound, and as we hit the top five of this ranking Lady Gaga is going full throttle 70s. It’s glorious. The sheer strut of this song reminds me of how amazing Lady Gaga sounded when she did I Want Your Love with Chic and I’ve been chomping at the bit for her to return to this sound. I adore it.

4. Disease

Azealia Banks deserves a big fat chunk of Disease royalties for how hard she’s stanned and promoted Mayhem’s originally intended lead single. I actually used to be quite lukewarm on it – I felt like Gaga sounded like she was just phoning it in rather than truly putting her heart and soul into it. And yet, singlehandedly, Azealia Banks tweeting “SCREAMING FOR ME BABY” at least once a day has solidified it as a classic.

Love the big vocals in the final chapter of Disease so much.

3. Killah

Gaga has wanted to work with Gesaffelstein for absolutely yonks, and I’m so thrilled they managed to linkup for such a triumph. It samples Bowie and channels Prince for a sticky, strut that absolutely oozes cool from every orifice. You can just TELL she had so much fun making this song and she sounds in her absolute element. An instant highlight, one of the coolest Lady Gaga songs in her discography.

2. Perfect Celebrity

Absolutely wow. Instantly my favourite new song from Mayhem today and can’t see it budging. Straight into the upper echelon of Lady Gaga songs – insanely sang, written with pure venom. I love the evolution from the way she wrote about fame on The Fame compared to now after over a decade at the forefront of a-lister. It’s an enthralling listen, and if I’m honest I do think Mayhem would be even better if she’d double downed on the fire on this track. It’s belting.

1. Abracadabra

Still at the absolute peak of Mayhem on this ranking is of course Lady Gaga with Abracadabra – the most Lady Gaga she’s been since Artpop. Without question. Gaga is a multifaceted star, but she’s in her element when she does what no other artist could do. Any decent pop star worth their salt could make even the best songs on Joanne or Chromatica, but nobody but Stefani Germanotta could make Abracadabra and pull it off convincingly.

It’s got it all, even before the video bolsters it to new heights. It’s beautiful seeing a song so unapologetically Lady Gaga get its flowers commercially and critically. And in this ranking, most importantly, of course.

Anyway! Stream Mayhem. SCREAMING FOR ME BABYYYYY.

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