A rundown of every ick you’ll experience before leaving York uni

If you feel exposed, please take note


The list of repulsive stereotypes associated with York students rivals Long Boi in length and only gets longer. There are MANY icky things that York students do that make me consider withdrawing my UCAS application three years in.

So please enjoy a collection of some of the worst, most nauseating York icks, and if you relate to any then please take a long hard look at yourself.

Running to get the 66 and missing it

Even a slight change to a quicker speed to attempt to catch the beloved 66 bus is a massive no. Just accept your fate and try not to cry as the bus driver, after fully seeing your increase in speed and still choosing to ignore you, merely shrugs and drives away.

You can wait 10 minutes for the next one, promise x

Electric scooters

When you do miss the bus, don’t even think about using those blue sex repellers. There is nothing more hideous than an adult riding a scooter, especially if you’re wearing the helmet that comes with them, please stop.

Not stopping to see Long Boi

You cannot make the visit to campus West without stopping to marvel at the length of the majestic, and famous, duck. And if anyone merely walks past without a second glance, ick.

 

Stone Roses for a first date

Even if indie music is your whole personality and you want to impress that special someone with a really cool niche bar, which does the most amazing drinks (all hail the blue shit), Stones is not the place for a first date.

After awkwardly seeing everyone you know, you finally fight for a table and spend the evening shouting at each other over the music or painfully singing along to Oasis songs you only know half the lyrics to. Save it for a few dates down the line.

‘Woop there is it’

Does anything else really need to be said? No song in Salvos needs this chorus to make it any less bearable. Please stop, sincerely everyone in the club with now bleeding ears.

Mullets 

Sorry rugby boys, I know this dominates your personality, but the shit trim doesn’t cut it. And pair it with a signet ring? Instant ick.

Living in stash

Okay, we get it you play a sport, congrats. But please stop turning up to lectures in the same shorts and hoodie you have worn for a week straight and definitely haven’t washed. We don’t all need to know you play for York Centurions and look like you are wearing the uniform of some devoted cult.

Freshers in the library

I always thought this was a little harsh, but being in third year I now respect the value of a seat in Fairhurst and what it means to us struggling through deadlines and dissertations. So please, if you are only going there to open a book, not use it once, and just chat for two hours, stay in your accommodation. Thirds years will love you for it.

College chants

I don’t want to hear about how rich you Constantine girlies are. Have college pride of course, but please don’t scream it at me whilst I’m already trying not to throw up on the way to Revs.

Not loving Flares

A personal one, but not thinking Flares is the elite club in York is an instant ick. I don’t make the rules but Flares over everywhere, any day of the week.

I’m sorry if I’ve made any of you confront some icks about yourself, but it’s for the good of the whole York student population. So next time you’re in Salvos and feel compelled to start a chant, or think about using an electric scooter, please reconsider.

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