What your bed sheets say about you

Your sex life isn’t so secret after all


Everyone you know somehow manages to have different bed sheets. Varying in colour, pattern, style and cleanliness these factors can tell your housemates everything they need to know about you.

Silky black sheets

You may not know him but you definitely want to know him. Simple and stylish bed sheets such as these classy black silk ones add mystery to this housemate. Are they hiding a deep dark secret? Or hiding the fact they’re really a big softy at heart?

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Loud and colourful

There’s always one who needs to learn when to put a sock in it. Garish and mismatched bed sheets that burn your eyes are a clear-cut sign of a loud and possibly slightly annoying housemate. They’re likely to be the one in charge of the music for predrinks. They often do stupid things for a laugh but admittedly they are pretty fun and always down for a good time.

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Posh all-white sheets

“Yes you can take a picture of my bed but I haven’t had a chance to iron it yet”. Seriously, who brings approximately £80 worth of bedding to university halls? This admittedly, incredibly soft bedding set from The White Company has suffered more damage than any of our IKEA crap.

Enduring pranks, food spills, vomit and the entire contents of a bin you would think this housemate would regret such an expensive purchase, but no, his only solution to his ruined sheets is to buy a brand new identical set.

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Grubby and unwashed

The one who’s just too horny to say no. If there are ominous yellowish stains all over their sheets you might want to avoid sitting on their bed and you definitely want to avoid asking what those stains are from because yes, that is period blood.

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Covered in clothes

Move aside Tracy Beaker, there’s a new dumping ground in town. More than just a place to sleep, this housemate’s bed has become a wardrobe, shelf, bin, towel-rack and doormat hybrid. They’re likely to be either a hoarder or just plain lazy as once something leaves a cupboard it never enters it again. They’re not totally to blame though, feel free to crash in this housemate’s bed or make use of all their empty wardrobe space.

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Minimalist

Sugar and spice and all things nice. Believe it or not I’ve actually found that guys rooms are much neater than girls. This guy’s fairy lights, wall decorations and immaculately tidy room. however, take it that one step further and really put the “man” in “manly”.

Feminine

No, this doesn’t belong to Tracey Emin. Pink bed sheets, teddies, stained with make-up, hair-dye and nail varnish this girl really lives up to the female stereotype. Always up for a good gossip with plenty of juicy stories to share, this is the housemate to go to if you ever need anything from flavored lube to life advice.

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