The Tab’s website of the week: Date Ariane
Perseverance is the key to success with this lovely online lady
Who said virtual dating was for geeks? Well women obviously, but who needs them when you have Ariane.
Watch the hours bleed away as you try to reach the nirvana that is making love to the Sim-esque Ariane. Just don’t resort to the online walkthrough guides (because that would be geeky).
If you thought ordinary sex was stressful try this super-addictive cartoon cock-tease on for size.
Omg guys, Jacob Elordi is going to Oxford University in October to study English
He fell in love with the campus while filming Saltburn
Oxford Uni lecturer stalked by man who flew 4,000 miles to her with a can of pepper spray
He sent his bags to her office and wanted her to ‘be his Valentine’
Oxford Uni chaplain who compared sex offenders to ‘puppies needing training’ given welfare role
He asked one student assault victim if they were ‘aware of the effect they had on men’, but has now secured a post at another college
These are the subjects you need to study at Oxbridge to more than double your grad salary
In one subject, studying it at Oxbridge over any other uni will get you £47k more per year
Oxford University College offers students a Halal menu option but it includes… red wine
One student said she was ‘sadly not surprised’ at the mistake
Two of Emma Watson’s lecturers at The University of Oxford have successfully sued the uni
Emma Watson studies on Oxford’s creative writing course
So, people are rinsing Oxford students for dancing at a ball and it’s low-key really mean
A Ceilidh is a huge part of Scottish culture
Oxford University Vice-Chancellor with £232k salary says grads should be donating to their uni
Was my £9k a year not enough!
Two of Emma Watson’s lecturers at Oxford are suing the university for unfair dismissal
The lecturers also compared their situation to the Post Office scandal
Oxford uni called ‘patronising’ for job advice despite banning its students from working
Oxford’s policy on part-time jobs reads: ‘Term-time employment is not permitted except under exceptional circumstances’
Students from two Oxford colleges are throwing Saltburn themed parties this term
One of them is Felix and Oliver’s actual college from the film
Students at University of Oxford housed in four-star hotels due to a lack of accommodation
One of the hotels costs up to £150 a night and has an indoor pool and spa
A professor at the University of Oxford has told students to use ChatGPT for essays
The economics students were told AI ‘should help you produce a much better essay’
Oxford students forced to sleep in queues for over 24 hours to sign uni accommodation
‘It was absolutely freezing, I’m wearing three jumpers right now’
All the Oxford on campus filming locations where Emerald Fennell shot Saltburn
Students literally loaned their actual dorm rooms to the production team
BBC denies allegations of antisemitism on University Challenge due to octopus mascot and Palestinian flag colours
‘We utterly condemn the abuse that has been posted and shared’
Oxford student found escort waiting in their room booked by the university
The student found a ‘woman sitting on [their] bed in a lingerie robe’ in their hotel room
So, some Oxford Colleges actually have a chalet students can visit and it’s big Tory vibes
Rah Bartholomew are you coming to the College chalet this year?
Katie Hopkins is speaking at the Oxford Union this term and shock, no one wants her
She’s going to be debating… veganism?
Oxford College asks students to sleep on mattresses in shared rooms due to RAAC in halls
Not really the Oxford dark-academia dream you signed up for is it?
Camden pubs to comedy clubs: All of the real-life locations used for filming Baby Reindeer
Probably best to avoid some of these locations
Three MAFS Australia 2024 cast members wanted to quit but stayed until the end of the show
Producers persuaded some to stay whilst others have said they still regret not leaving
Here’s where to watch Jess Gunning next if you loved her in Netflix’s Baby Reindeer
She has ironically played many police officers
You need to watch the explosive new dating show Love Triangle that makes MAFS look tame
It’s got dinner parties, arguments and cheating scandals in the first two episodes!
Even Lady Whistledown falls in love: A brief rundown of Nicola Coughlan’s dating history
Nicola has certainly caught the eye of the whole ton this year
Omg, Lauren is being lined up to have her own TV show following MAFS Australia!
It’s what she deserves!
Long term relationships and Oscar noms: Everything Dev Patel has been up to since Skins
Dev has just made his directing debut with his new film Monkey Man
Inside Jono and Ellie from MAFS Australia’s cringy shared TikTok account
‘So this goes out to all the haters…’
A full breakdown of how many emails, letters, voicemails and tweets Richard Gadd’s stalker sent
‘You’ll never believe the hell one cup of tea can cause’
Dog parenting and lavish holidays: Inside Sydney Sweeney’s vibey life with her fiance
I’m not ready for the wedding
From casting to release date, here are all the juicy details of the It Ends With Us movie
Getting paid to kiss Blake Lively would heal me too, tbh
So, are Jack and Tori actually still friends with any of the MAFS Australia 2024 cast?
They’ve burned a lot of bridges
This is the cheapest way to see Taylor Swift for students from each Russell Group university
Roaring twenties, tossing pennies at the Eras Tour
MAFS Australia 2024’s Tim spills all on ‘horrible’ relationship with Sara that ‘scarred’ him
He’s said she had ‘scary eyes’ and a ‘face of fury’
All the MAFS Australia 2024 cast members who have defended Jack’s behaviour post-show
‘He’s the only person I really trusted’
Who’s actually related!? A full family tree rundown of the Berzattos from The Bear
No, they’re not all cousins
Inside Timothy and Lucinda’s very wholesome friendship since leaving MAFS Australia 2024
Just give them their own spin-off show at this point
Inside Sara and Lauren’s adorable friendship after meeting on MAFS Australia 2024
Best thing to come out of MAFS tbh