Since chaos has changed everything, here’s a brand new Big Brother housemate ranking

As I sit here and write this, I just have to let out an exasperated chuckle at how much this ranking is completely and utterly different than the one I did on week one. It’s completely and utterly different than the one I did two weeks in. The Big Brother house throws us in turmoil, and one dodgy comment and one annoying moment can be a death wish. With some comments last night well and truly rubbing me the wrong way, and with us one month into the show now – here’s the full ranking number three, all the Big Brother housemates from worst to best as of right now, and before the Halloween twist shakes everything up once again.

13. Dylan

I wanted Dylan gone on Friday when his only crime was being boring, but in the last week he’s been truly insufferable. I don’t like how he’s made himself the kitchen and the chicken overlord. I don’t like how he kicks off to the high heavens if people are loud at night. I get it’s annoying but… you’re on a TV show with people of all ages and no one is in charge of anyone else. If you’re going to throw your toys out the pram, don’t come on Big Brother.

12. Tom

An ultimate sheep follower housemate who does nothing but nod along to whatever group he’s sat in like a nodding Churchill dog bobble head in the back window of a car. Such a waste of a housemate position. The human embodiment of stale Skittles vodka in dirty student halls.

11. Jenkin

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The most miserable human being to ever walk this earth. A lost soul.

10. Noky

I do want to like Noky, but the fact of the matter is she bores me shitless. Last night’s episode for example: She moaned that people were shouting in a task about ranting into a venting machine. Not as annoying as Dylan because she’s still up for a laugh in the evening and that but another one of the housemates here in Big Brother ranking three that I think needs reminding that she’s actually filming a TV show.

9. Henry

There’s a great housemate somewhere within Henry, but it’s bogged down by Tory. We need Trish to change him for good.

8. Paul

There’s a lot of hate for Paul, and whilst I don’t love him by any means I do have a soft spot for Scousers. There’s a real vendetta against him from a lot of Big Brother Twitter and I’m really not sure all of it is justified. The rumours today that I won’t say but can be found with a quick search were incredibly damaging and it’s crazy how quickly people jump to conclusions.

7. Matty

Not really arsed about Matty at all, and certainly not arsed about whatever the HELL is going on with Matty and Jordan – but he’s the lesser of a fair few evils at this point.

6. Chanelle

A slight fall from grace for me here, because I feel like she stands for nothing and by standing for nothing you’re complicit in not caring. I have liked her so much up until last night when she dismissed Olivia’s rational reason suggestion that Hallie may have been evicted because of transphobia. Her and Jenkin just got a bit nasty with it all, and they shrugged off a perfectly valid point. I didn’t like Jenkin, but Chanelle being cavalier about it wasn’t a good look. If she carried on this way she’ll slip down the next Big Brother housemates ranking, but for ranking three she’s out the top five.

5. Kerry

Right. An evil, but a necessary evil. Kerry is someone hard to watch but an amazing housemate for TV. Like, she’d drive me round the bend and back again but this season would have been nothing without her. I actually need her in the final. She can’t win but she needs to annoy everyone right until the end. She’s changed history on social media with the memes. She’s vital.

4. Jordan

Perfect casting. An icon. Still enjoy him a lot but can’t hack the wet lettuce behaviour around Matty. We need the love triangle to end so he can just be funny on his own, because his wit is immeasurable.

3. Olivia

it was olivia who started the pronoun conversation after hallie came out as trans. our LGBT ally. i want this woman paraded out at every pride next year. 👑 #bbuk pic.twitter.com/4hs02HEwDv

— Cambell ♡ (@Cambellxo) October 29, 2023

Oh, it’s impossible not to say mother.

2. Yinrun

Like Jordan, instantly perfect casting. A Big Brother legend from day one – even if this show lives and dies on ITV for this one season, Yinrun will go down in the history books. If she doesn’t win I will be gobsmacked. Knocked her off the top spot though because her crying over the rule break got on my nerves a bit – for the first time this season. I also think there’s an issue of Yinrun babying herself and also being default babied by housemates that bothers me a bit. She’s an adult!

1. Trish

Trish is the best housemate of all the Big Brother housemates here as far as my ranking three is concerned. She’s barely moved from my top three all season. She’s direct, honest and fair – stands up for the right things and she’s hilarious to boot. I simply love Trish. I’d be mates with Trish, I love her values and I was so pissed off she was up for eviction on Friday. I hope her hearing the cheers for her help her to know she’s received so well, and I hope the house take note that she’s popular on the outside and should go nowhere. Queen. When she took the wig off during the kissing the glass challenge I lost my shit.

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