RIP winter Love Island, you were a big waste of time
Every episode I watch feels like I’m clocking in for work
At roughly 56 minutes per episode, we’ve collectively spent almost 54 hours watching Love Island this winter— without ads and without Aftersun. And, frankly, as the season slowly shuffles towards its end, I’m begging for release. For the last two weeks, I’ve been locked in a commitment, a full time job, I never signed the contract for.
Love Island doesn’t always feel so laborious. In summer, even though our own lives are infinitely more exciting, the show adds a layer of flirtatiousness to proceedings. It gives us something to talk about with friends and on first dates in pub gardens. It makes us want to wear neon thigh-split bodycon dresses and bikinis made of dental floss.
In winter time, Love Island is at odds with wind, rain and seasonal depression. Instead of a sunny vibe shift, it becomes a sad little act of self torture. We watch, in our thousands, tanned, toned bodies “form connections” and “get to know each other” while we fester, pale and tracksuit bottom-clad, with nothing better to do.
Thanks to our gloomy public mood, winter Love Island was cursed before it really even began. The premiere episode was down one million viewers from the summer season in 2022. At 1.4million, it recorded the lowest audience numbers the show has seen since it started in 2015.
And, as Twitter has pointed out over and over again, this season’s cast has not helped winter Love Island’s case for renewal. Before Sanam and Kai saved the series, there were no strong couples to root for and no amazing friendships to ship. Thanks to arguably the most unlikeable cast of all time, this secondary show is (sorry) done for.
Winter Love Island has already been cancelled once. Back in June 2020, the series was ‘axed’ due to the pandemic and instead the show returned for an extended summer season where we were gifted the likes of Chloe Burrows and Millie Court.
We don’t have two Wimbledons or two Premiere Leagues— and we don’t need two Love Islands. The summer series is a marathon event that needs gearing up to and winding down from. Let’s leave winter and our hibernation period out of it.
Love Island 2023 continues on ITV2 at 9pm tonight. For all the latest Love Island news and gossip and for the best memes and quizzes, like The Holy Church of Love Island on Facebook.