‘My housemates think I’m disgusting’: We asked students who find Matt Hancock sexy, why?

It’s come to my attention that out of eight billion people on this planet, a large number of individuals find Matt Hancock sexy. So I’ve found some from the rock bottom of society and asked them one simple question: why? It turns out it all pretty much boils down to how he completes trials, his non-existent military background and the fact he sometimes bends his knees when standing up.

Obviously fancying someone on the telly isn’t normally controversial but it is when it’s someone like Matt Hancock. The UK’s former health secretary who screwed the public over during the pandemic and whose decisions contributed to a really awful time. Anyway, apparently some people still fancy him despite this! So here’s everything they had to say.

The Tab also spoke to a dating expert to get their opinion on why Matt Hancock is currently a British heartthrob for some, this is what they had to say.

‘His military background is fearless’

Whilst admitting to her depraved obsession with Matt Hancock, Reese started the conversation with: “I don’t think he’s ugly.” Something that seems pretty chill right now, but don’t worry, she gets her teeth stuck into her Matt Hancock fetish pretty quickly. Reese went on to say Matt Hancock’s “military background” makes him “fearless.” What’s funny though is the fact he couldn’t be further from the military if he tried, he’s got no experience of it so clearly Reese pictures her ideal man in uniform – something else to debunk another day.

She continued to justify her thoughts by adding in the fact she fancies Mike Tindall more. But Reese does think Matt Hancock is a “ballsy” guy given how he’s “not scared of anything” and has brought home several stars for the camp.

During an episode, Matt admitted his random fact was he plays snooker left handed, something Reese found “cute.”

‘Him lying in the tomb did something for me, I’m ngl’

Let’s call this person Michelle*. Michelle* wanted to remain anonymous and keep her love of Matt Hancock a dirty little secret. She says the thing that makes her mainly attracted to Matt Hancock is his “dad shorts and boots combo,” something she explains is part of her Geography teacher issues.

Michelle* says she hates him and we can’t get her wrong she hates him. But somehow this results in her obsession with him being bigger. In a recent episode we saw Matt Hancock buried alive in a tomb with a load of bugs and slush chucked over him, something that is inherently unattractive. But she says: “Him lying in the tomb on Monday night did something for me, the cargo shorts and bent knees.”

She says his dancing was an ick and running around the camp is a turn off but that’s all made up for by how hardcore he has “bossed the trials,” Michelle* says. She admitted Matt Hancock radiates “dad energy” and “he gives really awkward praise and high fives and I feel sorry for him almost.”

Unfortunately for Michelle* all of her housemates now think she’s disgusting – awkward.

But surely there’s science behind finding Matt Hancock hot, right?

Yes, there is an explanation for people out there who find themselves annoyingly turned on by the villain. The Tab spoke to relationship expert and co-founder of So Syncd, Louella Alderson, to get her thoughts on why people find Matt Hancock sexy.

Louella told The Tab: “We have all been determined to dislike Matt Hancock the politician. However, Matt Hancock, the bushtucker trial Olympian is another matter. While many people in the UK are still very angry at him, it’s difficult not to admire his ability to keep smiling while vile bugs and unpleasant liquids rain down on him in confined spaces. This resilience is undoubtedly sexy. He knew what he was in for when he put himself forward for I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here and is good-humouredly taking his endless stream of trails in his stride without fuss and without complaint.”

Apparently Matt Hancock’s physique is a reason people are attracted to him as well. Louella explains: “He is also in good shape for a man of his age and, apparently, according to more people than just his girlfriend, extremely charming in social situations. Matt Hancock must know he is not the John Travolta of politics yet he joins in the dance routines. It’s easy to have a soft spot for a man who can laugh at himself and Hancock can certainly do that. His no-fuss attitude means that he simply keeps calm and gets through every trial and every disagreement with some of his less-admiring campmates. He is now the third favourite to win.”

So there you have it you disgusting individual. There is some reason behind your madness and attraction to Matt Hancock.

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