This is what your Halloween costume says about you this year

Right – Halloween is literally days away, and it’s time to bring out the big guns. Every year, costumes seem to be getting bigger and better (I blame Harley Quinn to be honest). Hardly anyone can get away with stepping out as something basic, like a ghost, anymore. You have one go a year to dress however you want, and it has to be iconic.

The options are honestly endless, but there’s a handful of very niche costumes which tell us a LOT about the type of person wearing them. So, here’s exactly what your Halloween costume says about you in 2022:

Alice from Don’t Worry Darling

It’s undeniable! You’re just really hot and you deserve to wearing a really pretty dress, covered in fake blood. You didn’t think Don’t Worry Darling was utter shit, and that’s okay! In fact, you thought the twist ending was one of the most genius moments in film history – and I’m really happy for you.

You’re basically just having a great time in life at the moment and you’re really looking forward to drinking Sourz “cocktails”, dancing to Disturbia and, even though you’ve never touched a cigarette, using the smoking area as an excuse to catch up with your friends. As you should.

Lettuce Liz

Iconic for sure, but a secret part of you is just wearing it to be like; “I’m more politically informed than my mates”. You also heard the lettuce was doing Cameos and you absolutely splashed the cash for a personalised one, before realising it is, in fact, really just a lettuce. This is a decision you regret.

You enjoyed watching the literal livestreamed vegetable outlive Liz but you’re also not 100 per cent sure why we’re all calling for a General Election. When pushed on who you’d want to vote for, you definitely say Green because “Labour is just as bad.” You never elaborate.

Pearl Winslow

To be honest, you really didn’t enjoy The Watcher that much. But you think Mia Farrow is a darling of indie cinema and, hey, you’ll stand out from all your friends! You genuinely love mild horror and your heart belongs to Ryan Murphy – but you do think the last few series’ of AHS have been crap.

Everyone thinks you dressed up as Wednesday Addams, which annoys you more-and-more as the evening goes on. It’s the plaits, sorry.

Wednesday Addams

You initially went as Pearl Winslow but you decided halfway through the night, “fuck it, I’m just going to let everyone think I’m Wednesday”. I think this probably means you’re very changeable and easily disappointed.

Cruella de-Braverman

A *way* more intelligent costume than Lettuce Liz if I’m honest! You’re a Suella hater and you need everyone to know it.

You decide to combine one of those half-grey, half-black wigs with a blue dress and some long earrings. Not everyone will get it – but you’ll almost certainly be going home with the one person who does. You’re really intimidatingly intelligent and people can’t help but gravitate towards you – also, as well as being politically clued-up, you like to say quirky things from left-field like “bardcore is my favourite music genre”.

Loser Jack from Don’t Worry Darling

can’t stop thinking about how ugly incel harry styles is don’t worry darling. a literal jumpscare pic.twitter.com/57En7Arv4R

— soju boy tell em (@nychthemerons) October 27, 2022

Complete with greasy hair, drawn-on stubble and an old grey t-shirt. You feel confused when your flatmates tell you to get dressed, for fuck’s sake, the party starts in a bit.

You really liked DWD, but you can’t let people know that because you’re obsessed with Mark Kermode and he said it was basically quite bad. So, you go as the least aesthetically-pleasing character because you’re just ironic and satirical like that – it’s not your fault if people don’t “get” you. Either that, or you’re chronically online and appreciated the memeability of a rough-looking Harry Styles.

The 13th, 14th or 15th Doctors

Not gonna lie, you originally spent hours putting these costumes together because you wanted to wear them at London Comicon. Then, you didn’t get tickets. So you guess they’ll have to do for Halloween.

You have a scientific mind and you love to immerse yourself in geek culture. In fact, you don’t even want to go to a Halloween party – you’d much rather sit at home and watch your classic ’70s Who boxset. Oh, and by the way, Chris Chibnall’s era wasn’t shit, it was just taking the franchise to strange new places. Forget it, we wouldn’t understand.

Something standard, like a cat

Clearly, you’re absolutely filled with self-confidence. You don’t need to go as anything iconic; you can just stick some devil horns on and make it a staple look within itself.

Literally anything true crime-y

The only thing this says to me is: You should immediately go home and change.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• This is what everyone is dressing up as for Halloween, according to Google
• People are making their houses into Stranger Things sets for Halloween and it’s incredible
• A deep dive into all of the bewitching Halloween costumes of Netflix’s biggest stars

Featured image via Netflix.