Quiz: Plan a night out and we’ll tell you which Tory villain you are
If you get up to no good in the club, you’re defo Matt Hancock
Danny ShawFrom pres, to the club itself to the filthy scran you get on the way home, everyone has their very specific night out routines.
In isolation, these factors would be harmless activities. Combined in your unique way, however, with a load of alcohol chucked into the mix, they tease out an evil creature that exists at the very core of your being. The creature in question is your inner Tory villain.
But obviously every Tory villain has their own characteristics that separate them from one another. Granted, Boris Johnson and Priti Patel are evil, but we mustn’t paint them with the same brush. They’re odious human beings in their special way. Never take that away from them.
So, with that in mind, take this quiz and plan a night out. Then, and only then, will we tell you which Tory villain you are.
For more politics and current affairs follow our new channel Agenda on Twitter.
Related articles recommended by this writer:
• The Tory MP who flicked her middle finger at people outside No.10 is now in charge of unis
• A definitive ranking of the Tory leadership election campaign videos from least to most nauseating
• Meet Kemi Badenoch: The PM hopeful who misgendered trans people and mocked LGBTQ+ rights
Here’s where else to watch the Outer Banks cast while you wait patiently for season four
Emily SmithFilling the major Pogue shaped hole in my life rn
Phoebe Kowhai
Everything Natalie and Collins have been up to since their disastrous time on MAFS Australia
Harrison BrocklehurstIf I had to hear about Collins discussing OnlyFans, you do too
Everything Richard Gadd has said about Jessica Gunning’s captivating Baby Reindeer performance
Francesca Eke‘It lived and died on Martha and we couldn’t have been luckier’
Okay, so what happens next in the Ellie and Jono cheating saga on MAFS Australia 2024?
Ellie RingJono becomes public enemy number one
The 10 best songs on Taylor Swift’s The Tortured Poets Department, according to streams
Justice for So High School!!!
Jess reveals she and Callum ‘no longer speak’ after he did something ‘unforgiveable’ to her
‘I wouldn’t say he’s a friend’
Hi Barbie! Meet the student who has written her entire dissertation on the Barbie movie
Not her supervisor’s name being Ken!
Holidays and moving in together: Inside Tom and Molly’s adorable post Love Island life
They’re actually too wholesome
Baby Reindeer’s Jessica Gunning has spoken out about people trying to find the real Martha
‘I think it’s a real, real shame, because it shows that they haven’t watched the show properly’
‘Taylor Swift pub’ The Black Dog staff have spoken out about chaotic week mobbed by Swifties
‘We’ve got a Swift half pint on the menu, which people can get for free if they sing a Taylor lyric’
Kim Kardashian is ‘over’ Taylor Swift feud and ‘thinks Taylor should move on’ after new song
Taylor’s new album features a song called ‘thanK you aIMee’ which is believed to be a massive dig at Kim
From tattoos to moving in together: What are Tori and Jack up to after MAFS Australia 2024?
They’re in their own little bubble
More lies Jack from MAFS Australia has been telling his ex have surfaced and it’s chaos
‘He’s only staying with Tori because he’s backed into a corner’
Ben slams Ellie for being ‘vindictive’ on MAFS and claims she’s with Jono for ‘publicity’
‘She always played the victim’
Cast member Ben claims MAFS Australia 2024 producers mocked and ‘criticised’ his ADHD
‘I didn’t sign up to be taken advantage of through my mental health’
A look inside the wholesome life of Jessica Gunning who carried Baby Reindeer as Martha
I can’t believe she’s not actually Scottish
No ifs, no buts: These are the absolute WORST episodes of Black Mirror ever
Black Mirror episode idea: Me being forced to watch these on loop