Siânnise Fudge reveals she was ‘suffering with anxiety and depression’ last year
‘I was insecure, lost all my confidence and I lacked love within myself’
Former Love Islander Siânnise Fudge has revealed she was suffering with depression and anxiety last year, in an emotional and honest Instagram post yesterday.
Siânnise posted a side by side picture of herself last year, looking underweight, which had previously alarmed her 1.7million followers and a more recent picture where she is smiling and looking happy. She said she was waiting for the right time to tell her story, and wanted to share her experience in the hope it would help someone else.
She said: “To my amazing family. I have been waiting for the right time to speak about something that I had been living with and couldn’t find the courage to share it, but thankfully now I feel ready. I feel I have a responsibility to share this because somehow it might help one of you and that’s all I want from this.
“To give anyone suffering the belief that you can overcome your obstacles in life. This time last year I was suffering with anxiety & depression behind closed doors. This resulted in me having insomnia, extreme mood swings & losing two stone in weight.”
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Siânnise appeared on the 2020 series of Love Island where she reached the final alongside Luke Trotman, who she was in a relationship with until late last year.
In her Instagram post Siânnise went onto say she was deeply unhappy in her body, and received a number of comments on social media telling her to “eat some burgers”.
She said: “I was insecure, lost all my confidence & I lacked love within myself. I couldn’t bare to look at myself in the mirror because I didn’t recognise myself both physically & mentally. I completely lost myself and I wasn’t sure who I was as a person anymore. It affected my everyday life, my work & my relationships with friends and family.
“I felt like I wasn’t in control of my body, I lost interest in things I loved the most and I found it impossible to socialise. I would receive messages on social media saying I’m too skinny, I need to eat some burgers and I’ve had to unfollow you because looking at you makes me uncomfortable which was extremely triggering for me.”
She ended the post by explaining how she went to hospital twice in order to receive blood tests and whilst told she was physically healthy, hospital staff told her she had severe anxiety.
She wrote: “I went to hospital twice for checks, and for someone who is terrified of needles I begged them to take my blood and help me. When the doctors came back with my results, they assured me they were all clear and there was nothing physically wrong with me and they told me I was suffering from severe anxiety.
“I was lost, depressed and unhealthy, but somehow I developed the strength to work on myself. I turned every negative comment into fuel and motivation to get better and today I stand here, healed with a healthy mind & a happy heart. I feel beautiful, confident & I love my body now more than ever. I never understood mental health until I experienced it myself and how important it is. I urge everybody to be kind because you never know what someone is going through, everyone has a story.
“Every cloud has a silver lining, I am living proof of this 🤍.”
Siânnise’s post attracted a number of comments from fellow Love Islanders including Faye Winter, Sharon Gaffka, and Kady McDermott who all sent their love and praised her post.
Later in the day Siânnise went onto her Instagram Stories to thank everyone for their kind words and support, and said her direct messages were always open if people needed advice.
She said it was the “hardest time” in her life but said looking at the picture of herself from a year ago made her proud of how far she’s come.
If you or someone you know has been affected by this story, please speak to someone or contact Samaritans on 116 123 at any time. You can also contact Anxiety UK on 03444 775 774, Mind on 0300 123 3393, and Calm (Campaign against living miserably, for men aged 15 to 35) on 0800 58 58 58. You matter.
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