Anyone else noticed how hilarious Britney Spears’ Insta is? Here are the best bits
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Britney Spears has been one of the top trends on Twitter today because she posted a picture on her Instagram claiming she’d just beaten her 100m PB. However, the 100m time she posted, which was less than six seconds, is actually faster than the world record, faster than Usain Bolt himself.
The picture she posted was a screenshot of her timer, with just under six seconds on it. It was captioned: “Ran my first 5 !!!! Getting over your fear of pushing it in the beginning is key… once I did that I hit 5 !!!! Usually I run 6 or 7… my first run was 9… and now I did it whoop !!!! 100 meter dash”.
A number of people questioned her post, telling her she’s obviously lying or she’s messed up. Surprisingly, a lot of her fans were completely behind their queen, arguing if Britney says she’s now the world record holder, then she sure is!!!
Truth is, Britney probably isn’t the world record holder proven by the fact she quickly deleted the post. However, looking through the rest of her Insta, she’s posted some absolute gems. Her feed is so wrong, yet so right. So random and yet makes perfect sense. So outrageously awful and yet hilariously spot on every time. These are some of her best:
The acting talent doesn’t just belong to Jamie
I don’t know what this video is trying to say, what it means or why it exists but I don’t care. Britney captioned this post: “What we need more now than ever is laughter … so happy to share !!!!!! 🌹🌹🌹 keep smiling folks !!!!!!!!! Before Coronavirus shut down the world a week ago I was casually enjoying a beautiful view …… but then …… 🙊🙉🙈 !!!!!!”
Looks like the aim of the post is to make us laugh in such dark times. How does she try to achieve this? By staring out from a mountain top and then pretending to be jumped. It’s so bad but it’s also genuinely really funny.
A really uncomfortable fashion show
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Okay I guess I’m bored …. in my home for two weeks of quarantine and I’m modeling dresses I never knew I had 😂😂👗👠💕🙄 !!!! I tried to screen shot a picture but it didn’t work 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️ I realized I had my hair in a pony tail and no shoes 😂😂😅 anyhow I got this cute video !!! I was tired of being still so I got up to go dance in this orange dress 💃🏼 ….. and do you know what I just learned today ??!? That orange symbolizes wealth, success, stimulation, happiness, fun, balance, sexuality, enjoyment, expression, heat, sunshine, and warmth ☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️🧘🏼♀️ and that’s how I felt when I put it on !!!!!! PS …. obviously I was joking about running the 100 meter dash in 5.97 seconds …. the world record is held by Usain Bolt which is 9.58 seconds …. but you better believe I’m coming for the world record 😂 !!!! #joking #workbitch
Britney posted this video of her trying on three different outfits – two dresses as well as a crop top and the most low-waisted shorts I’ve ever seen. She captioned it with a very long disclaimer about how bored she is.
The caption also included some golden lines such as, “I realized I had my hair in a pony tail and no shoes 😂😂😅” – what does this mean Britney?!
She also wrote: “Orange symbolizes wealth, success, stimulation, happiness, fun, balance, sexuality, enjoyment, expression, heat, sunshine, and warmth ☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️🧘🏼♀️ and that’s how I felt when I put it on !!!!!!” – Doesn’t she experience most of these things on the daily anyway?
She finished it with: “PS …. obviously I was joking about running the 100 meter dash in 5.97 seconds …. the world record is held by Usain Bolt which is 9.58 seconds …. but you better believe I’m coming for the world record 😂 !!!! #joking #workbitch”.
Some much-needed words of wisdom
Her Insta posts are often pretty deep and inspirational. This one is a perfect example – she posted a pic with the words: “Why do we close our eyes when we pray, cry, kiss or dream? Because the most beautiful things in life are not seen but felt by the heart”.
This clearly hit her fans hard. One of them commented “AMEN! Continue to show us the way, Brit Brit ♥️♥️ we LOVE you”, another said “Totally true”.
Cute and oddly-angled selfies
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Today we should reflect on the positive things in life !!!! So many of us get stir crazy about what’s going on and although I don’t have all the answers .…. I do know how to try to stay strong and positive and show courage 💪🏼💪🏼🦁😘👠💫💋👗💕 !!!!! Keep your heads up my friends !!!!!
This pic is an ode to every girl when they were in year 10. Britney is bringing back the black liner, choker and back-combed hair. This one was captioned: “Today we should reflect on the positive things in life !!!! So many of us get stir crazy about what’s going on and although I don’t have all the answers .…. I do know how to try to stay strong and positive and show courage 💪🏼💪🏼🦁😘👠💫💋👗💕 !!!!! Keep your heads up my friends !!!!!”
Sadly, not everyone is keen. The first comment on this post is “your makeup isn’t good” which is just rude.
A late-night sky
Another deep and meaningful pic, captioned: “Look up we’re all under the same sky…” One fan replied: “To be under the same sky as you Britney is a privilege”.
Britney’s fav colour was red, now it’s hot pink
Last week she posted a throwback of her doing a photo shoot. In the caption, she gave us some pretty personal insights into her fave colours: “This was done 10 months ago …. oh how time flies !!!! Red used to be my favorite color 👠👠💋 but now with pink involved ….. I think hot pink may be my new favorite 🤔🤔🤔💕🌸🎀😉😉🌸 !!!! Just something to brighten your day !!!!”.
I’m sure if any other celeb posted this they’d get rinsed to shit, not Britney tho – instead she’s got fan commenting saying: “Britney invented hot pink”. She’s fucking won.