The transformation of every British girl in starter pack form, obviously
A stylistic journey through the ages
No matter how unique we'd like to think we are, in reality, every single British girl has had the same lived experience from about the age of nine. This is an unspoken truth. It's almost as though we're living in a weird, pre-determined simulation, which guarantees us looking back on our formative years in sheer embarrassment.
So naturally, we've decided to take you on that journey, in starter pack form:
At 13, anything neon coloured was life. Begging your mum for a tenner, you'd go to the local shopping centre to buy stringy, see through pink tutus for the school disco. Every day after school, you'd rush home only to digitally communicate with the people you've seen all day. Wid Smophhieee…XxXx w4tchin m0vi3s all dai, luv mi bezzie <3
Two years later, not much had changed. Only you swapped the knock off Ugg boots for Primark plimsoles and ditched MSN for BBM. Scrolling endlessly on Tumblr, captioning every photo with “Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?” Nice pashmina tho.
After outgrowing that phase and desperately trying to erase any existing memories of it, everyone turned indie overnight. You idolised Effy from Skins and switched your Smirnoff Ice to actual Vodka. Every girl dip dyed her hair and started wearing those stupid owl necklaces, whilst listening to hardcore bands like You Me At Six and All Time Low. To be fair, Underdog was a banger.
And then you went to university – the place of self-discovery and ultimate freedom. This is the place you blossom from girl to a woman. In goes the fresh face and leavers hoodie, out comes the crop top and obligatory red stripe and rollie in hand at all times. Being covered in glitter, wearing a sports jacket and side-stepping to house on a weeknight becomes the only acceptable way to live – no matter where you came from or where you're going. This is university and it will change you.
And when graduation came around, the harem pants were long forgotten as the culottes paired with Stan Smiths replaced them. You tried to detoxify your body, whether that be through pretending to enjoy yoga or buying loads of unnecessary house plants. But ultimately, you live for the payday to expense all of those bottomless brunches with the girls.