A step-by-step guide on how to ‘treat them mean, keep them keen’, by a relationship expert
It’s a way to pace your relationship
You know when you’re really into someone but don’t want to be too keen, so you wait hours to respond to a text? Or you pretend to be busy, when you’re actually watching Bridget Jones in bed with two tubs of ice cream. Yeah, we’ve all been there. They’re classic playing hard to get tactics, but it’s 2017, and does anyone really have time to play games anymore?
According to India Kang, a relationship expert for women, the ‘treat them mean keep them keen’ method is foolproof, and key to every successful relationship. She swears this dating rule actually stops people wasting energy on those who aren’t willing to make the effort.
India explains if someone isn’t patient with you, they’re not worth your precious time. Playing hard to get also apparently protects you from being hurt as you “don’t give the best years of your life to someone” for nothing in return.
We asked India for a step-by-step guide on how to really master the ‘treat them mean keep them keen’ method, so your playing hard to get can pay off.
Only date once a week in the first month of a relationship
India told The Tab: “We don’t treat them mean because it is a game, we do it because when you’re dating somebody, you have to pace the relationship. People give each other too much, too soon.
“I teach my clients to date only once a week in the first month and that’s because men and women fall at different stages in the relationship. If you give them too much too soon, you diminish your attraction and it can fade quite quickly.”
Don’t give up your life just because you met someone
India advises you shouldn’t sack off all your friends and normal social life for the new person who’s cropped up in your life. She said: “You don’t want to give up your life just because you met somebody. Don’t give up your friends, don’t give up your world and don’t be available the whole time. They’re just one part of your life.”
Wait four hours before responding to the last text they sent
Apparently you should wait around four hours when responding to a text, because you don’t want to be available all the time. The same goes for communicating on other forms of social media.
Never tell them exactly how you feel early on in the relationship
Supposedly the mistake many people make is to text the other person to let them know exactly how they feel. Instead, you should “treat them as though you don’t like them at all.” According to India, being coy keeps the relationship fresh and exciting.
Don’t be impossible to get though, or they’ll get bored and move on
Don’t actually completely unavailable, you’re just pacing the relationship. If they have been calling you loads and you’re ignoring them or turning them down on purpose – that’s wrong.
Don’t intentionally hurt the other person
India says this is a mistake a lot of people make, as they end up hurting the other person to the point where they get fed up and go to someone else.