Seriously though, who are the people who find The Big Bang Theory funny?

It’s literally the worst show ever created

Since comedy was first entered into The Dionysia in 486 BCE, we’ve come a long way. Slapstick, pantomime, satire, farce; from Bocaccio to Laurel & Hardy, comedy has shaped the way we see the world for centuries.

So it should come as no surprise that, in perhaps the worst era of human history, one of the most widely-viewed comedies in existence also happens to be the worst thing humanity has ever invented.

Yes, I’m talking about The Big Bang Theory.

For a show whose very theme song outlines the evolution of the human race, The Big Bang Theory marks a massive step back in our pursuit of all things funny. It makes Adam Sandler fart jokes seem nuanced – and yet, there are genuinely people who find it funny.

The cast of the Big bang Theory pose in character for a promotional shot. From left to right: Penny, Sheldon, Howard, Raj and Leonard

I hate these people

Its highest rated episode, in 2014, had 18 million viewers – suggesting 18 million people saw The Big Bang Theory on TV and didn’t simply turn to another channel or, failing that, turn their TV off and sit in blank, comforting silence.

No, there are people in this world who watch The Big Bang Theory and enjoy it. They share the jokes with a simpering “loool” in their group chats; they stifle laughter when they watch it on their iPads in bed. They have been duped by the most manipulative, formulaic, insulting-to-your-intelligence TV show of all time.

The Big Bang Theory thinks you are stupid. And if you like it, you probably are. Here’s why.

THERE IS A PAUSE FOR LAUGHTER AFTER EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE

Seriously, watch this clip.

There is a pause for laughter 17 times in two minutes. Seventeen times. Even the actors themselves laugh over the laughter as if to try and tell you THIS IS SUPPOSED TO FUNNY.

Now imagine that, but for 30 minutes.

Now imagine that, but for 22 episodes a season.

Now imagine that, but for 10. Entire. Seasons.

EVERY JOKE IS EXACTLY THE SAME

Most of the time, it’s either “Aquaman is a bad superhero” or “Sheldon likes to sit in a particular chair.”

Failing that, they just shoehorn in the titles of a load of things nerdy people like and press play on the laugh track.

THE COMEDY IS ALL ABOUT STEREOTYPING

Penny is a dumb woman. She’s a blonde airhead whose main purpose in the show is to be belittled and patronised by the male characters before she eventually falls in love with one of them.

More or less every joke about Raj is the fact he’s the token Indian, with many of the poorly thought-out jokes at his (and India’s) expense having attracted criticism in the past. Meanwhile, Howard is an outdated Jewish stereotype – and his mother is even worse.

Then there’s Sheldon, who is basically there so the audience can laugh at someone with Aspergers without feeling bad. They should.

REAL NERDS THINK IT’S ABSOLUTE GARBAGE

While shows like Community and South Park make fun of geek culture with forgivable, cheeky insider jokes, The Big Bang Theory’s jokes about nerds are executed with all the grace of a cave troll set loose in the Chamber of Mazarbul.

The show masquerades as something written for nerds, but its nerdy jokes are so thin and so painstakingly explained that it comes across as “haha look at these nerds, they’re so different to normal people.”

It’s as if the bullies who used to take their lunch money grew up and decided to turn the dorks they poked fun at in school into lite daytime entertainment for other lantern-jawed jocks.

ALL OF THE GUYS IN IT ARE COMPLETE AND TOTAL DICKS

I’m not saying that all nerds are sexist, but here’s Reddit’s take:

Getting tired of the Big Bang Theory lightheartedly condoning rape. from feminisms

But isn’t it funny if you put a laugh track over it?

ITS ACTORS ARE LITERALLY THE HIGHEST PAID TV ACTORS IN THE WORLD

The leads in the Big Bang Theory take home a reported $1 million per episode, meaning they make more money than the cast of Modern Family, the cast of Parks and Recreation, the cast of New Girl, the cast of Girls, the cast of Arrested Development – and so on.

Basically think of any genuinely funny show, and the cast of The Big Bang Theory make more money than them.

IT IS BILLED AS A REPLACEMENT FOR FRIENDS, SUGGESTING IT IS AS GOOD AS FRIENDS. THE BIG BANG THEORY IS NOT AS GOOD AS FRIENDS.

When British TV channel E4 lost the rights to Friends in 2011, it filled the slot with The Big Bang Theory – which is like replacing a filet mignon with a plate of steaming cowshit.

If you turn on any TV in your vicinity now, there’s a good chance you’ll accidentally catch a bit of The Big Bang Theory. And that’s just unfair, isn’t it?

IT HAS BEEN RENEWED FOR TWO MORE SEASONS

WHO THE FUCK IS WATCHING IT? IS IT YOU?? IS IT???

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