Every relationship you will ever be in as a teenager in Ipswich

Ipswich is full of budding young romances, where you’d find loved up couples strolling hand-in hand, around the shops of the Buttermarket or Tower Ramparts. No doubt, there is a variety of schools in Ipswich – you have the students attending the all-girl Ipswich High School for girls, students going to the posh private school St Joseph’s College and the average pupils in both Northgate and Copleston High School. Watch how young love sprouts within the same school and then starts slowly mixing between all schools in Ipswich. Here come the years of being head over heels in love in the small boring town we call Ipswich (and home), in the perspective of a teenage girl.

The young teens populating Christ Church Park

When you’ve just hit your teenage years at age 12 and 13, you start noticing the other half more in school. Maybe you’ve started making subtle eye contact with this cute boy in your ICT class and you know from rumours that they’ve been observing how pretty you are. This goes on for a while until you finally decide to pluck up the courage to talk to him. You want to know if they fancy going down to Christchurch Park with their friends as you and your mates have plans to chill there after school.

So now you’re both sitting side by side in Christchurch Park, barely speaking a word to each other as the nerves take over. But this doesn’t matter as you receive a text as soon as you start walking home saying “hi”. You have no idea that one of your friends has given the cute boy your number so you text back “who’s dis”. Eventually, after realisation (and annoyance at your friend, how can she embarrass you like that), you make plans for the following week to go into town.

After your Ipswich town date, you’ve both decided you’re now bf and gf. You two always meet in  front of the church next to the Buttermarket at 5pm to walk to MacDonald’s, inevitably getting a McFlurry and having arguments about who loves each other the most “I love you more” “Well I love you most”. You ultimately get bored and start questioning whether you really do love him after 5 days. You decide no and end up breaking his heart in your next ICT lesson.

Babies

15-year-olds in Cineworld

You’re finally 15 where you can actually watch some decent films in Cineworld rated 15 instead of any other crappy movie rated 12 or under. You have a new boyfriend you were introduced to by your best friend’s older brother and you were flattered when he proceeded to tell you that you were ‘well fit’. You think he is so much more mature than your ex because he goes to St Joseph’s College which is that fancy private school and he’s the captain of the rugby team so he has really muscly arms. You go to Cineworld every week because there’s really nothing else to do in Ipswich and he has an unlimited card so he pays for your ticket every time. You’re always bragging about this to your friends, about how he is really rich and that he must really like you as he also sometimes treats you to a cheeky Nandos after the cinema.

It’s getting quite serious now and so you decide to invite him round for dinner with your family instead of going to Cineworld on Saturday. He is oddly really shy around your parents, unlike his usual charming self, hence leading to a conversation about asking what’s up with him after dinner. He says actually, he’s not sure whether he wants to be in a relationship right now seeing as he’s really busy with the rugby at the moment and meeting your family was a huge shock to him.

You break up, resulting in you hating his guts and blocking him from every social media site. He was never really that fit anyway.

Sweet 16’s at house parties

Being 16 or 17 is the age where you’re not quite old enough to get into clubs but you’re frequently getting smashed at house parties. You meet a whole new variety of people, leading you to actually meet someone you genuinely like and have stuff in common with. You also have more freedom, you probably are learning or have learnt how to drive and are generally more adventurous, making your dates ten times more fun. You and your bf probably go to the pantomime at the New Wolsey Theatre every Christmas, go for adorable strolls down the Ipswich waterfront or may even venture into London from Ipswich train station.

It’s all going so well and you think you are in love. You’ve been together for a year and a bit now, however, you’re going to uni that is a 4 hour journey away and he’s staying here to work full time on a gap year. After many arguments about what’s going to happen when you go away, you both decide it’s probably best to break it off. Of course, you’re absolutely distraught but chin up, you’re 18 soon and you’ll discover how much fun clubbing in Ipswich is going to be…

18 at Unit 17

You’re completely ready to go to uni in September and you definitely do not want to be in a relationship. This is the perfect time to be a low key slut and get with everyone you can (even that guy who may or may not have dated your best friend for a year, oops) in Ipswich’s swanky new club, Unit 17. They even have hairdryers and straighteners in the girl’s toilet so it’s perfect for any girl. You start every night with a few drinks at New York Exchange bar before heading over to Unit where you’re bound to bump into someone you know. After getting tired of bobbing up and down to Meghan Trainor’s ‘All about that bass’ with your 5 friends who are the only ones on the dance floor, you regrettably stumble over to that other ‘club’, Sin, which can only be described as a shithole. Sometimes on night outs you go to Revs just to mix it up a bit but Ipswich clubbing is really just a bit boring.

But you don’t care as it just gears you up for uni even more. At Christmas and Easter time, you try Ipswich clubbing once again and breathe a sigh of relief as clubbing literally anywhere else is so much better than Ipswich.

Unit 17, we’re coming for you