Flat Thanksgiving dinners ranked by vibe, not quality: Glasgow Uni edition

Thanksgiving in Glasgow flats is a special kind of chaotic. It’s not a real holiday here, so every dinner feels like a bootleg version of an American tradition —like when you buy “Pumpkin Spice Aroma Candle” from Poundland and it smells like wet cardboard and regret.

Still, the vibes? Immaculate. Or at least…memorable. Here is the definitive ranking of flat Thanksgiving, judged entirely on vibe, not quality (since most of them taste like homesickness and semi-burnt apple crumble anyway).

The Tesco meal deal Thanksgiving

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Everyone agreed cooking a full turkey was “too much faff,” so the host slapped a bunch of £3.40 meal deals on the table and declared the chicken sandwich the official bird of the holiday. Someone stuck a Percy Pig on top as decoration. Honestly? Iconic behaviour. Very Glasgow.

Vibe: Powerful. Resourceful. Slightly concerning.

The ‘we have one fork between us’ dinner

Food served: Cold roast potatoes, stuffing made in a pot that still smelled vaguely of last week’s curry, and a turkey crown carved with a butter knife. Everyone took turns eating because the flat mysteriously owns 17 mugs but only one fork.

It feels like you survived something together. You did.

Vibe: Communal suffering. Deeply bonding.

The American who took it too seriously

This is the dinner hosted by the token American friend (hi!) who decided to recreate Thanksgiving “properly,” only to have a meltdown in the kitchen when Morrison’s didn’t sell pumpkin purée. They give a speech about gratitude that no one asked for.

Points for ambition. Negative points for crying over cranberries.

Vibe: Why is there food for an army?

The accidental vegan Thanksgiving

Started as a normal dinner, ended with no one remembering to cook meat. Every dish contains chickpeas for some reason. The host announces, “Actually, this is good for the planet,” while someone else quietly orders a Maccies delivery under the table.

Vibe: Peaceful. Confusing. Suspect.

The flat that burned something

@skylarnlarson

designated smoke detector fan is always on hand #collegelife #relatable

♬ original sound – bee ☆

(In every sense)

Vibe: Fire alarm chic.

The turkey? Burned.

The rolls? Burned.

The host’s eyebrows? Nearly burned.

The dinner is 80 per cent smoke, 20 per cent Prosecco, and somehow still more fun anything you did during Freshers’ Week.

The ‘we forgot it was Thanksgiving’ gathering

It’s actually just a normal Thursday night where people are already drinking in the kitchen when the American walks in and goes, “Oh my God, it’s THANKSGIVING.”

Someone hands them a packet of crisps and says, “There you go, pal.” Honestly kind of beautiful.

Vibe: Accidental wholesome.

The cultural exchange gone horribly wrong

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Flatmates from five different countries come together with dishes that absolutely do not belong in the same room. There is sushi, haggis, spaghetti, and one guy from Spain brought tortilla de papa because he thought the holiday was “like Friends.”

Everyone leaves slightly more knowledgeable and significantly more ill.

Vibe: International confusion.

The hostile Thanksgiving

Two flatmates are mid-argument about mould in the bathroom, but still insist the dinner is happening. You’re served lukewarm turkey while listening to someone shout, “WELL MAYBE IF YOU DID YOUR DISHES!”

Vibe: Why did we come here?

Final verdict

No matter the food, no matter the chaos, no matter how many alarms go off—Glasgow flat Thanksgivings will always have superior vibes to actual American ones.

Mostly because no one’s uncle is there to talk about politics. And because, frankly, anything eaten under a broken LED strip light while wearing pyjama bottoms and a puffer jacket is just… spiritually correct.

Happy Flatsgiving, y’all.

Featured image via Canva