Social worker reveals what people should and shouldn’t be doing to help Emilie Kiser

A social worker who works with families that have experienced devastating tragedies has spoken out after influencer Emilie Kiser’s son drowned in their garden pool and shared insight into what everyone can do to help.

Three-year-old Trigg passed away on 18th May after being found unconscious at their Arizona home. Paramedics performed CPR at the scene and he was then taken to hospital, where he died six days later.

“With all the videos going around about the Kiser family, I wanted to let you guys know as an ER social worker who works with families that are going through tragic loss like this all the time, things you should be doing and things you should not be doing,” Mandy Wilcox said on TikTok.

In the video which has had more than 500,000 views, she told everyone not to ask any questions or speculate. Instead, you should only say things like “You are in our hearts,” “You are in our prayers” and “I am here to listen”.

“Questions can very easily come off as accusatory,” she said. “While they might not be meant that way, someone who is carrying that blame and that loss, especially as a parent for a child, it can be very insensitive to ask questions.”

The social worker also said you should never ask someone going through a tremendous loss what they “need,” because they are in “complete survival mode” and don’t know what needs to be done.

@mandy_wilcox_

As an ER social worker, I work with families every day who are experiencing unimaginable loss. If you’re not sure how to support someone going through a tragedy, please take a minute to listen. No questions. No assumptions. No pressure to “be strong.” Grief is not linear. Silence and support often speak the loudest. My heart goes out to Emilie Kiser and her family. My sister had a drowning accident when she was young and had to be brought back to life. I know even that and even though my sister survived, that effecting my mom a lot. #emiliekiser #sendinglove

♬ original sound – Mandy Wilcox

If someone close to you has experienced a huge tragedy, some things you can do include ordering groceries for them, dropping meals off at their house, looking after their dog and picking their kids up from school.

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“Anything that can take a little bit of responsibility off of them, so that they can just function and focus on those horrible things like planning a funeral and not have to focus on all the responsibilities of life and being a parent,” Wilcox continued.

Lastly, the social worker said you should never assume that you know how the person feels, because you don’t know the exact details, like the relationship they had with that person or what blame they are carrying.

“My heart goes out to the Kiser family, I know nothing has been confirmed by Emilie and I just felt like I have a good perspective on a situation like this where I’ve worked with so many families and loss,” she concluded. “I just wanted to remind everyone some things to keep in mind that we don’t recognise when we’re outside of those circumstances.”

A police investigation has been opened into the toddler’s death, which is currently still ongoing.

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Featured image by: @emiliekiser/Instagram and @mandy_wilcox_/TikTok