Enjoy this Short N’ Sweet analysis of every pop girlie as a Russell Group uni, based on vibes

The main pop girlies are truly having their moment. From Charli XCX’s Brat dominance to Lady Gaga’s recent rival and Sabrina Carpenter’s Short’ N Sweet Tour. It’s also April, and whilst this may mean Easter break and impending existential crisis over exams for us students, for the pop girlies this means festival season is right around the corner.

Ever wondered which Russell Group uni each of the pop girlies on your Spotify wrapped would be? Well, you’re in luck as I bring to you a highly accurate and deeply researched guide based on pure vibes and my undeniable music expertise – aka belting out their songs at every karaoke night.

So, take out your headphones, press pause on Pink Pony Club and brace yourself to be offended (unless you study at UCL or Queen’s) as I match every pop girlie to a Russell Group uni. You’re welcome and I’m sorry in advance.

University of Manchester – Charli XCX

Known for being the Russell Group uni with the best nightlife, and the only place where students are still able to miraculously make it to their 9am after a night out at 256, it should come as no surprise that Manchester would be Charli XCX. 365 was definitely inspired by the average Manchester student’s Monday night out.

Brat Summer has also turned into Brat autumn/winter and now spring, showing no signs of dying down. Much like Manchester students, who also show no sign of stopping their bragging about £1.50 Jagger bombs to London students who can’t afford them.

University of Oxford – Taylor Swift

Most Read

Helicopter pilot who crashed into Hudson River relayed one final message before fatal impact

Bonnie Blue shares shocking ‘aftermath’ of her second filthy world record breaking stunt

Here’s how to do the viral AI Barbie box trend with ChatGPT and become an action figure

Oxford would have to be Taylor Swift given their big reputation, big reputation, which is everything you will ever hear from an Oxford student. So big that you have to write an album about it. Swifties have a slightly concerning paranoia with a song not being Taylor’s version and can distinguish between a faux within one second.

Similarly, Oxford students require you to understand the difference between the right and wrong version of the uni. If you mistake a University of Oxford student for being a student at the other Oxford uni (you can breathe a sigh of relief, I will not mention them) you’re likely to induce a near cardiac arrest.

UCL – Olivia Rodrigo

via Canva

UCL would definitely be Olivia Rodrigo. Firstly, the supposed rivalry between her and Sabrina Carpenter. Does this ring a bell for any of our Russell Group unis? Of course for UCL and KCL. For those that attend university outside the perimeter of London, the rivalry was created over a mascot, with UCL stealing a lion from King’s and the saga continued back and forth for years and years. Almost like the whole 2021 love triangle between Sabrina, Olivia and Joshua Bassett. We all know how that turned out.

I can so see there being a UCL x KCL diss track in the form of drivers license. A song highlighting the incompetence of King’s students at not losing their ID on a night out. Plus, the hint of purple in UCL’s logo is reminiscent of the purple aesthetic of not one but two of her albums; Guts and Sour. You’re welcome, UCL.

King’s College London – Sabrina Carpenter

Contrary to popular belief on TikTok that she would be a scouser, Sabrina fits King’s to a T, or espresso, for those who celebrate. King’s gets hate amongst the London unis for well, just being King’s. Similarly, Sabrina gets hate for being herself thanks to the Mumsnet warriors, who couldn’t take her Brit Awards performance. Sabrina is perfect as King’s since she would publicly tolerate UCL (Olivia) through gritted teeth, but in private despise their very existence.

University of Edinburgh – Gracie Abrams

Gracie gives off the most Edinburgh vibe ever. Whether this be because her music oozes sadness or because One Day was set at the same exact location, I’ll let you decide. A rainy day spent walking along the cobblestones of Edinburgh would definitely be enough to inspire the heartbreak anthem that is I love you, I’m sorry.

University of Leeds – Chappell Roan

Chappell is relatively popular but not quite on the same level as the other main pop girlies. She’s the kind of artist that you’re obsessed with, but your mum still gets mixed up with a church in rural Yorkshire. Just like Leeds often gets mixed up with Nottingham.

Queen’s University Belfast – Dua Lipa

via Canva

Queen’s University would be the Dua Lipa of the pop girlies. Their underrated and often snubbed of any form of recognition. Like everyone conveniently forgets that Queen Mary is actually part of the Russell Group and Dua being snubbed at the Brits and Grammy’s. Leaving them both fighting for some form of approval.

Queen Mary London – Tate McRae/Madison Beer

With Tate McRae and Madison Beer you know they both exist as their music feature’s heavily on people’s Instagram Stories, but you won’t actively choose to listen to them. Similarly to Queen Mary and Queen’s Uni, you forget that they are in the Russell Group completely. However, I’m hoping that me giving you two artists will compensate for this.

University of Bristol – Billie Eilish

Bristol is known for students that have the most wacky outfits with an edgy vibe to them. They don’t listen to your usual Arctic Monkeys, instead opting for something more niche like Fontaines to match their cool vibe. Only Bristol students would be able to pull off and make a baggy t-shirt and jeans a socially acceptable attire for an awards show, just like Billie did at the Grammy’s.

University of York – Selena Gomez

York is reportedly the uni where you’re most likely to find love. Whether this be because that dismal duck was some form of a cupid around campus or because York students have nothing better to do in such a desolate area, where the nearest big city is Leeds.

Honestly, this would make for some great scientific research. Nonetheless, York seem to produce insufferable couples that do practically everything together, like Selena felt the need to make an album with her fiancé Benny Blanco.

University of Exeter – Ariana Grande

Ariana definitely fits the posh girl stereotype of Exeter, where reliance on daddy’s money paired with a lack of a basic understanding of the outside world is a regular sighting on campus. I’m sure she’d reply with the classic “What, reeaaally?” when she learns that there isn’t a Waitrose’s on every road once you cross the M25. The shock, the betrayal!

University of Cambridge – Lady Gaga

If you’re stuck for which pop girlie this Russell Group uni would be, let me help. Cambridge has been around for years and is home to all the Rupert’s and Montgomery’s to ever cross the surface of the earth. However, Cambridge, just like Lady Gaga, remarkably has the ability to still stay somewhat relevant amongst the younger, more popular unis, which in this case are the Chappell’s and Sabrina’s.

LSE – Beyoncé

Matching the pop girlie to its Russell Group uni is easy when it comes to this legend. Beyoncé has a million and one side hustles, from reinventing country music to creating a hair care brand. Much like all LSE students, who are incapable of taking a day off. The specimens that this uni produces leave with the “I want something big” Beyoncé quote etched into their minds, ready to make their mark on the world as a politician turned entrepreneur turned motivational speaker – all achieved before the age of 30 of course.

University of Newcastle – JADE

Last but not least, JADE who is the latest addition to the pop girl category. This one doesn’t require much explaining given that she’s a Geordie and probably the best thing to come out of the North since Sam Fender. I feel as though I have done the Northerners some justice here to compensate for the high percentage of Southerner’s at Newcastle Uni.

Featured image via YouTube and Instagram