An ode to Lambrini

Roses are red, violets are blue, Lambrini I owe my good times to you

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It’s the season of freshers’ nights out and the pre-drinking scene is currently a central feature of your life.

You look around and people are drinking alcohol of all varieties, from the “lads” drinking their manly cans of beer, to those still in their high school stage of WKD’s, to the poshos in their blazers drinking hard whisky.

Little do they know, they’re all doing it wrong. The right way? Lambrini.

The drink of champions

It’s cheap

You’re a student. You’re poor. You need to be sensible with your money, and Lambrini is the key to being sensible.

Just do the maths. A standard bottle of Lambrini is 5.6 units, and costs £1.50 at Asda. That’s 27p per unit. That alcohol content would cost around £2 in a single vodka in the club.

Not only is Lambrini a low-cost alcoholic drink, it’s low-cost as a drink full stop. It’s even cheaper than a bottle of water in the train station.

So the secret to keeping to your budget? Buy lots of Lambrini. Your parents will be proud.

It looks classy

Granted, Lambrini is not the classiest drink in the world, but the snazzy new label makes is look a lot classier than it used to.

Certainly classier than Friscini

Many people probably haven’t heard of Lambrini, so due to it being in a wine-shaped bottle, you can just tell people it’s wine and they will think you are one classy individual.

Even if the people around you do know of Lambrini, just drink it from a wine glass and it’ll instantly create an aura of class.

Don’t feel a wine glass is compulsory though – drinking straight from the bottle is completely acceptable.

It doesn’t taste horrible

Admit it. Most alcoholic drinks require you to get drunk before you stop caring about the taste. It’s different with Lambrini, which is pleasant from the word go.

There’s just something about that musky, yeasty, sweet taste you just can’t get enough of. It’s a homely flavour and yet doesn’t make you as bloated as beer does, and it also quenches your thirst.

It’s just the prefect drink. You can actually enjoy your pre-drinks instead of reluctantly chugging back that cheap, sour, vinegary wine that makes you want to vom it back up again.

Typical recycling bin of a second year house, post-exams.

It doesn’t get you too drunk

Lambrini is strong, but not too strong. It gets you to the perfect level of tipsy before you make your way to town. Remember you’re likely to get more drinks out, so it’s best not to get too smashed before you even step out the door.

A bottle of Lambrini means drunk enough to be in the mood for a night on the town, but not too drunk you embarrass yourself before you even leave the pre-drinks, telling everyone you love them and passing out on the kitchen floor.

If you want to be able to dance till 4am but don’t want to regret being a mess the day after, it’s the drink for you.

Lambrini really is something special. It assists student life almost as much as the library does. So next time you go to the shops to stock up on your pre-drinks, just remember: next to those terrible cheap bottles of wine, Lambrini is waiting for you.