In defence of Atik’s cheese floor

You secretly love it

Now everyone in Oxford is obsessed with deep house and grime, Atik ‘s (Park End’s) cheese floor has recently seen a diminishing reputation.

And it’s not surprising, considering that it’s now apparently become cool to hate cheese.

Where is the love?

But the cheese floor has a legacy, and as much as you may deny it to all of your indie friends, this sacred place will live on in spirit.

Think back to the last time you were forced to attend Fubar Wednesdays. You insisted that you didn’t want to go, that you’d rather be at Cellar, swaying like a hypnotic monkey to music that doesn’t even have lyrics. Yet at some point in the night, you would have been dragged to the cheese floor.

These guys are ready for some cheese

Usually this is at the point in the night when your legs are beginning to wobble, and you’ve forgotten your own name. But somehow, miraculously, you still know all the words to Britney’s Hit me baby one more time.

While the lovers out there can serenade each other to Summer Loving from Grease, all you single ladies can still state your position with a bit of Beyonce. The cheese floor provides variety and fun, bringing you closer to your fellow students as, after all, you are all in this together.

They’d be happier on the cheese floor

And even the more sensible bunch, who don’t feel compelled to down seven VKs upon arrival, (apparently some of you exist) don’t have to be excluded when the entire dance floor are embracing and emotionally warbling the lyrics to Robbie Williams’ Angels.

We make no attempt to criticize those that succumb to the peer pressure of insisting that the cheese floor is hell on earth, because we know, deep down in your hearts, you will always have a special place for that multi coloured dance floor and T Swift’s Shake it Off.