Life as an armrest and wearing kids shoes: The struggles of being a short girl

I’m a part-time armrest, my skinny jeans bunch at the ankles and I’m always called a midget. Welcome to life being 4’11.

Last week my lovely, leggy, 5’11 friend Lola wrote about her struggles as a tall girl. Her story inspired my tiny self to reveal what it’s really like to be that token short friend.

I might be used to the perks of being pint-sized, but there are some annoying shortcomings all smaller girls experience.

Everyone feels the need to remind me about my height

Little and Large

Throughout Freshers pretty much everyone I met greeted me with the phrase: “Wow, you’re so small!”

Congratulations for being observant and enlightening me with this valuable information, because I really had no clue. No, seriously: thank you.

Unless followed by a genuine “you’re so cute” or equivalent, emphasising my lack of height is rude. On behalf of my fellow vertically-challenged folk: we absolutely hate hearing it over and over again.

Clubbing is an obstacle course

Going out involves a thrilling night being bumped around and smelling armpits in Echos before standing on my tiptoes to order a McDonald’s Happy Meal.

Once at Hey Ewe a tall Lacrosse lad grabbed my waist, lifted me up above his head like Simba and starting singing the Lion King theme tune. To be fair I did appreciate his quality banter.

I always need to carry some form of ID

This happens a lot

Last month I popped into my local Tesco for a pint of milk and saw The Dark Knight Trilogy on sale. But when I tried to buy it the assistant demanded ID – even though the certificate is 12A. I told them that I’m 20-years-old and the shopkeeper replied: “Really? I thought you were still in school.”

The awkward conversation I have when purchasing alcohol are always a highlight – especially when shopkeepers are convinced my drivers licence must be fake.

God forbid someone so small can be over 18 or even reach the pedals to drive her car. And for the record: I don’t need a bumper seat.

The curse of the invisible woman

This is the awkward moment when people yell to move down along the carriage into space I’m already standing in. Or when the PE teacher at school would say: “Partner up with someone your height”. I was forever alone.

But my size does mean I’m a pro at fitting into tiny crevices, so I challenge myself by jumping onto the tube while its shutting – much to the annoyance of my fellow rush hour commuters left standing on the other side of the closed doors. Shame on you tall people.

Clothes shopping is an absolute nightmare

“Aw, she got the Velcros”

Skinny jeans are a fashion staple but also my pet peeve. They always bunch up at the ankles so you have to roll them up to avoid this unnecessary baggage.

On the plus side, however, I get to shop in the Kids section for my shoes. Not only are my Adidas Superstar trainers more wavey than yours, they cost about half the price.

But I’ll be avoiding the latest thigh high boot trend, unless I decide to wear them as trousers.

Despite our shortcomings it can be great to be a P.O.R.G (Person of Restricted Growth)

God only lets things grow until they’re perfect, and clearly we didn’t take as long as everyone else. What we lack in height we often make up for in other areas: we’re smart, charming, funny and are usually adorable.

On top of this, we are exceptionally ambitious as we want to overcome people’s expectations of us – we may look like overgrown toddlers, but we are feisty and incredibly hard working.

Besides combined with my Asian genes, I know I’ll look younger than most of you in 30 years time.