Oxford Brookes implements 11pm curfew on all Cowley Road student house parties

Oxford Brookes University has issued a mandatory curfew for all students living in Cowley order to tackle anti-social behaviour.

At 11pm students hosting and attending house parties will be ordered to vacate the area, and keep noise to minimum due to “alcohol related anti-social behaviour” over the past few months. 

The curfew will commence on 18th April, with Police Officers patrolling Cowley for stray students, or anyone engaging in disorderly conduct.

Offending students will be disciplined using the university’s procedures and could face a £200 fine or even suspension.

In a statement issued to its website, Oxford Brookes University said: “We regret the conditions that produced this decision, but considering the vast amounts of complaints we consider this problem to be truly unacceptable.”

They stated it was “undeniable that students were responsible” for the anti-social behaviour and furthermore “the rowdiness and public disruption” due to excessive alcohol consumption had “a negative effect on local residents.”

“The anti-social behaviour of students is extremely damaging to our sense of community. We want students to represent our values, so that Cowley to be a point of pride for our locals.”

Despite the explicit ban on Brookes students, no comments were made regarding the status of Oxford University students living in the area. Going incognito as an Oxford student might give your parties the perfect disguise: Snapping some candids with a disposable Kodak and talking loudly about your “eye opening” backpacking trip around Cambodia should do the trick.

Understandably, many were students upset over the decision. Ava Walsh, a tourism management undergraduate told The Tab: “The curfew is massively unfair. Hosting iconic house parties is literally my only personality trait. The university can’t do this to me, I’m going to have withdrawal symptoms.”

Final year criminology student Emily Saunders shared a similar sentiment : “It’s ageist discrimination, not all of us act like dicks. At least we’ll always have Fishies. Fishies will never let you down.”

Music production student Samrath Bhatti and his housemates came up with a cunning plan to get around the curfew: “I don’t get how they’ll check we’re students. I’ve always been told I look older than I am, and half my friends look like they’re taking their GCSEs. We’re planning on pretending to be a family if anyone asks and just sound proofing whatever walls we can.” 

Whereas, Patty Hudd, a local resident who has lived in Cowley all her life was overjoyed by the news: “It’s only right a curfew is imposed on students. The next step should be shutting down the university entirely. No one in Oxford cares about Brookes anyway.”

You might want to check the date, you April Fools x

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