No ifs or buts, this is the exact meal deal each of the MAFS 2023 cast would choose
Brad has all the rizz of a Just Ham sandwich
You might think you know the Married at First Sight 2023 cast by now, and if that’s the case – think again. I don’t care that we’ve had seven and a half weeks of watching them air their sex lives and trauma on national telly. I don’t care if you watch all their TikTok Lives or are have your name signed on French Berty’s baguette.
There’s no way you know someone in and out unless you know their meal deal of choice. It’s a make or break and I’m shocked and saddened that this wasn’t a debate question presented to each couple in the wooden box of drama at the first dinner party. Until you know the MAFS 2023 cast meal deals, you just don’t know them at all.
So here’s an unofficial but absolute ranking of the MAFS 2023 cast meal deals and what they’d likely get, based on their vibes.
Brad would get a Tropicana Multivitamin Boost drink and think he’s better than you. Pair that with a Just Ham sandwich and some prawn cocktail crips and you’ve got yourself one bland Brad standard meal deal.
Tasha loves to remind everyone that she’s feisty, so she would definitely pick up a spicy meal deal in order to prove that. We’re talking spicy chicken pasta, Doritos Chilli Heatwave Chips and a Sprite, just to really add to the tingle. All are top tier on their own but the combo has to put this meal deal near the bottom.
Definitely one of the cast members most likely to stir the pot, our Luke provided us with some golden telly moments and I believe he’d be just as extra in his meal deal preferences. I’m talking tuna and sweetcorn pasta pot, a Boost chocolate bar and Red Bull. Must be where he gets all his energy from.
Jordan loves to put his foot in it, so he’d definitely enjoy telling everyone how much better his meal deal choice is than everyone else’s. Which is rich, as he’d probably get a Sausage Bacon and Egg Triple, a strawberry milk and a pot of Sour Cream and Onion Pringles and call it a day, conveniently forgetting to pick up chewing gum at the checkout.
Tennis coach Arthur would definitely be leaning towards the healthier meal deal options, whether that’s to keep up his physique or to maintain a good brand image as a coach. He’d opt for a prawn mayo and an apple juice, to make sure he’s covering as many food group bases as possible. For a snack he’d get boiled eggs, but it’s not like anyone’s going to get close enough to smell them on the court so who cares. While all healthy choices, he’d lose points for not getting something actually nice.
JJ has grown on me. Despite initially being pissed at him for how he handled his relationship with the people’s princess that is Bianca, his communication with Ella actually does look really healthy. I reckon JJ is a sucker for a southern fried chicken wrap and some cocktail sausages. And a Fanta Orange, because he’d find lemon one too bitter.
I feel like Rozz’s attention to detail in her business as a florist would mean she’d make a great meal deal combination. She’s sweet and inoffensive, but as we know she has a cheeky dark side. Chicken salad sandwich, pinapple chunks and a peach iced tea. No guesses what the pineapple’s for.
Being prim and proper, Peggy would only choose some thing appropriate for a quick on the go snack. I’m thinking tuna mayo sandwich, carrot sticks and hummus and a sparkling water. Bosh.
From what we’ve seen of her calling out bad behaviour on MAFS so far, I don’t think Erica would actually be bothered what anyone thought of her meal deal choice, and rightly so. She’s the type of girl to lead the way, so she’d get a tomato and feta pasta pot, a Pepsi Max and some
Being both sweet and spicy, Ella would opt for a something about her confidence makes me think she’d feel right at home with a Snickers, so that’s her meal deal snack of choice.
I think Matt is almost too nice – his inability to address problems in his relationships is proof enough that he’s a people pleaser. He’d tell a store assistant he’s allergic to mayo and walk out with an egg mayo and bacon sub because that’s all they’d had. Paired with a bag of mixed Brazilian nuts and a Lucozade, his meal deal is inoffensive but half eaten, landing him higher than anticipated in the ranking.
Adrienne’s bubbly and fun personality makes me think she could think of nothing worse than a boring old meal deal sandwich. And I couldn’t agree more. She gives off mixed sushi box vibes, and she would defo use the condiments, wasabi and all. She’d also get a Limonata Sanpellegrino and some Popchips. All about balance.
Being a lover of sports and all things fitness, Georges would pick a meaty snack, but also one he knows he won’t get rinsed for eating while streaming live on Twitch. That equates to a ham and cheese baguette (of course), Peperami and a Coca-Cola Cherry.
Paul loves his food, but hates getting it in his mouth. That’s why Tasha would probably make Paul pick up something as mess free as possible. With a pasta pot out of the question, Paul would be all over a roast chicken and stuffing sarnie, paired with cheese and onion crisps and washed down with orange juice, while he pretends to not be bothered by the flavour blend.
Jay is a national treasure and I miss her so much. She would of course opt for a sensible BLT and an Oasis, gulped down with a white chocolate Twix.
We know Thomas is proud of his Greek heritage, and if I looked like him I wouldn’t shut up about it either. This rizz, paired with the fact he’s clearly a frequent gym-goer, as we can see from the videos of him terrorising his mum on Instagram, is more than enough proof that he wouldn’t touch a Just Ham with a barge pole. For that reason he’d definitely get a an Arla Protein Chocolate Milk Shake. All about those gains.
The queen of class and elegance, Laura has taste and this would be reflected even in her choice of meal deal. We’re not talking egg and cress here – Laura would opt for a chicken caesar salad, purely because she’d be able to eat it with a fork. She’d pair it with an oat milk latte, which would be immediately replaced with a spring water upon realising that Costa machines don’t offer dairy alternatives, and pot of olives – but she’d make sure to pick up a spare fork to eat them with. No finger food here, thanks.
For more like this fun explainer on the MAFS 2023 cast meal deals, like The Holy Church of MAFS on Facebook.
Related stories recommended by this writer:
Featured image via Channel 4, Sainsbury’s and Heritage.