Two weeks in, this is the MAFS UK cast and all their alarming red flags so far

MAFS UK this year is chaos. From explosive honeymoon rows to dinner party kick offs, the drama just keeps on coming. And I for one am lapping it up. Luke and Jay seem to have a solid relationship already, entering the first dinner party of the season last night as one of this year’s strongest couples. But even the power couples aren’t immune to exposing their blinding flaws to all of us. I have to admit, having your relationship with a stranger blasted all over national TV must be daunting, but they signed up for this. Some of them are serial reality TV veterans, so here’s a round up of the MAFS UK 2023 cast and their red flags.

Porscha – Thinks the world owes her something

Need I even say anything? Porscha’s expectations of her husband are wildly dated and out of touch. I can understand wanting to be looked after, but she’s just coming across as entitled and childish. She quickly exposed herself as a hot head with high standards and little patience. She’s also got huge double standards and repeatedly dishes out attitude that she won’t take herself.

Paul – Spills food down everything he wears

I’m not sure if this is a red flag as much as it’s an ick. But Paul’s eating habits are not the one. I couldn’t sit opposite someone and be trying to fall in love with them if at every meal their dinner ended up in their lap. How can you be 26 and not know how to eat? The napkin bib is even worse – dear god, I fear we haven’t yet seen the last of it either. I know he’s the youngest groom of the series, but Paul just does not seem emotionally mature enough to be getting married.

Peggy – Is way too sensitive to be on TV

Peggy seems super sensitive so far and I feel like her row with Georges will be the first of many. We do have to hand it to her, she’s got the most immature husband of the lot. But she is definitely wound tighter than the likes of Jay or Rosaline and I think her complicating things that do not need to be complicated is going to land her in the middle of loads of arguments. And god forbid she finds out Ella used to strip, I’m not sure I’d like to be in the room for that conversation.

Georges – Everything

Georges is just a walking red flag. I don’t know if it’s all for show or if he genuinely considers fake boobs as his biggest non negotiable in a relationship, but he has a lot of growing up to do. Listening to how he squatted in front of a camera was major cringe and I just don’t think I can sit through another episode listening to him tell tales of his boisterous antics. Plus, he labelled his profession as “model / supporting artist” when he was on Celebs Go Dating. He’s a lad’s lad and we can just tell he Tweets “Saturday’s are for the boys” at any given opportunity.

Ella – Getting invested way too quickly

Although arguably not a bad thing, Ella wearing her heart on her sleeve proved for a turbulent honeymoon for her and Nathanial. Expecting them to have feelings for each other right away caused them a major setback in their relationship and although things seem to be patched up for now, Nathanial quitting the show suggests things don’t go as smoothly later on in the series.

Tasha – Blames everything on being from Leeds

Tasha is bubbly and loud and I’m not holding that against her – It’s refreshing to see so much fun energy from her. It’s also nice to hear a friendly northern twang among the sea of southern accents on the show. But nothing of that is to do with being from Yorkshire. She’s a party animal but so is Jay and she’s from Accrington, bless her.

Nathanial – Is just way too hot and cold

Nathanial’s kick off with Ella I don’t have a problem with. It’s the making up I can’t get my head around. How can you go from screaming, slamming doors and storming off to hugs and smiles and playing happy families? Is he genuinely over the drama so soon? I’m not sure I believe it’s genuine. Maybe I hold a grudge too long but that could never be me.

Jay – Has no filter

Arguably this is a green flag, depending on who you ask. But Jay’s lack of filter is soon going to get tiring. Right now we love the tea, especially when she hinted about her and Luke’s bedroom antics, and things are only going to get messier as the rest of the dinner parties unfold. Jay’s lack of filter makes for great television but I’m not sure I could manage eight weeks of it.

Arthur – Too much of a push over

I respect a man who can stand his ground and put me in my place when needs must. I think any man should be able to do that, but especially a man married to the Chelsea icon that is Laura. Listening to her tell him straight while he sat hunched over in their shared bath while on honeymoon was hard to sit through. Where’s the spice? He needs to grow a backbone if he’s to survive this marriage with Laura.

Shona – Chasing a fairytale that doesn’t exist

Shona is really nice – so nice in fact that I’m not sure how much of it is genuine. I love her innocence and her willingness to throw herself into the experiment, even declaring her love for her husband before she’d even met him. But I just don’t think she’s in touch with reality. Fans are already speculating that her marriage to Brad is a ticking time bomb as she’s just so fast paced.

Thomas – Likes being compared to celebrity lookalikes too much

Thomas takes himself seriously but seems only to let himself loose when he repeatedly shares how much he gets told he looks like Luis Suárez or Rafael from Jane the Virgin. Most recently he’s complimented his own tan he got while honeymooning in the alps, thanking his dad for his Greek genes.

Luke – Thinks he’s too nice

This isn’t the turn on that he thinks it is. Luke told The Tab he’s been single for a long while and that his family love to tell him that “nice guys come last”. I get it and I don’t disagree, but I really wouldn’t lead with this. It’s such a cliche and I wouldn’t say he’s any nicer than Terence or Arthur.

Laura – Keeps telling Arthur off

We all know who wears the trousers in this relationship. Not only does Laura have a particular way she wants to live her life, she also has a particular way she wants others to live theirs too. Telling Arthur off for pulling his vows from the internet was the first blow. What else did you expect Laura? The man is a stranger to you.

Rosaline – Has no charisma

I actually feel bad coming for Rozz’s lack of rizz. She really is nice and she did take me for surprise when she was the one trying to initiate affection in her marriage because she looks a lot shyer than she is. But whether she’s trying or just holding back, there is just no charm there. I respect her being frank to Thomas about their slow start on the romance front, but one thing we can agree on is her lack of spice.

Brad – Takes himself too seriously

Listen, I like yoga as much as the next person and I’m all about spirituality and self healing. I love that about Brad and am genuinely impressed by his investment into himself. But part of me still isn’t convinced he joined the show for love only. Maybe it’s his cool guy aesthetic that we haven’t seen past yet, or perhaps it’s the fact he’s actually been on TV before on Celebs Go Dating. Whatever it is, I’d just love to see Brad horribly hungover and scranning a McDonalds to really see what he’s like at his most vulnerable.

Terence – No comment

So far I have no complaints about Terence. I think he’s genuine, kind, and is trying to make the most out of a bad situation – or marriage.

MAFS UK 2023 continues tonight on E4. For more like this ON MAFS UK 2023 cast red flags and for all the memes and gossip, like The Holy Church of MAFS on Facebook.

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