Ranked: The 10 best primary school disco songs you wish were still played in clubs today
A Pizza Hut, a Pizza Hut, Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut
While many of us flocked to the clubs the minute they opened to fulfil our youth, dancing to the latest hits and downing shots, nothing will ever beat the euphoria of a primary school disco.
Yes, we now have Doja Cat and Dua Lipa, but let’s not forget the classics from the likes of Busted and S Club 7.
Picture it: you’re back in 2007, you raced home from school to change into your sequinned top and bright pink leggings with two pounds in your pocket to buy cans of Sprite and packets of crisps. If you were cool, you got a transferable tattoo and acted as if it was real.
But it is undeniably true that the best part of a primary school disco was the absolute bangers you and your mates danced to while the teachers couldn’t help but join in with the Cha-Cha slide. Here is an indisputable list of the God tier primary school disco songs you wish the clubs would play every Friday night.
10. Macarena – Los Del Rio
To start off this list, we begin with the song that’s usually played at the end of the night. It’s the Mr Brightside of the primary school disco. I am of course speaking of the showstopper that is: the Macarena. You may be wondering why it’s not further up this list, and that’s because it gets very repetitive.
No one knew the words to the Macarena, but as long as you knew the dance (which of course everyone did) then you were fine. Inevitably, not everyone was faced the same way and sometimes you’d collide with the person next to you if they were turning in the other direction.
Still, it’s an iconic song and a school disco wouldn’t be complete without it.
9. Saturday Night – Whigfield
When this song came on it was time to show off your pre-rehearsed dance moves you’d been practicing in the bathroom mirror,as there’s no iconic dance attached to this video.
At 10 years old, we’d never been out on a Saturday night before but in that moment, we pretended to know what it was like to be in a club. Everyone was just living their best life.
8. Cha-Cha Slide – Mr C The Slide Man
Put this banger on and everyone in the room will fall into formation. It’s like a perfectly choreographed flash mob.
Imagine doing the Cha-Cha Slide in the club, drunk at 2am. Sounds like a vibe.
7. Year 3000 – Busted
If this was your favourite song in primary school then you were definitely popular and everyone wanted to sit next to you at lunchtime. Even if you didn’t know all the words the music was so loud no one would notice.
There’s a reason this song is still constantly played. Timeless.
6. YMCA – Village People
Another classic where you couldn’t go wrong. At that age, you were so used to being told what to do so it made sense to love songs with instructed dance movements. No one knew what the YMCA meant, but that didn’t matter.
This song will never get old.
5. Barbie Girl – Aqua
You either loved it or you hated it, but don’t pretend this wasn’t one of the most iconic bangers at a school disco. Looking back, some of the lyrics are questionable: “You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere.”
Let’s move on…
4. Five colours in her hair – McFly
Everybody fancied Harry Judd in primary school and you were lying if you said you didn’t. Name a more iconic noughties hit. The boys would be doing the worm on the floor and attempting backflips to this song. Peak of the night (or should we say… late afternoon).
3. The fast food song – Fast Food Rockers
“Can I take your order please?”
You wouldn’t hear this song anywhere else but at a school disco. Did this song even exist outside of the walls of an assembly hall with cheap decorations and paper cups? Everyone knew the dance. If you didn’t then you were classed as uncool, (we don’t make the rules).
2. Reach – S Club 7
This banger normally came on near the beginning to get the party started! You’d grab your friends into a big circle and throw your arms high into the air and forget that you have school the next day as nothing else mattered when S Club 7 was played.
It’s a mystery why this song isn’t played in the clubs. A travesty.
1. 5, 6, 7, 8 – Steps
We have arrived at the top disco banger and it’s none other than the masterpiece which is 5, 6, 7, 8.
Surprised? You shouldn’t be. No one was stood at the side when this song blared out through the speakers.
Was a simpler time dancing to Steps on a juice-covered dance-floor. Take me back!