Quiz: We can tell how clapped your boyfriend is based on his bathroom habits

If he uses mint shower gel, you should break up with him

It can be tough flying the nest and learning how to take care of yourself for the first time. But while most in the animal kingdom seem to overcome the initial struggle and quickly find their feet, the human male doesn’t have the same luck.

When he leaves home, he must learn to do all the things his doting parents did for him. He’ll face new and daunting challenges like: waking himself up, turning off the big light before bed and cooking his own dinner. These tasks will not so much take up his headspace, but will instead become half-arsed attempts at simply getting by.

He will be confronted with empty wall space and will fill it with a Pulp Fiction poster, which he’ll slap on with four fat blobs of Blu Tack that he won’t realise will cost him £20-a-pop when he attempts to claim back his housing deposit at the end of the year.

He will refuse to make his bed (which has dark sheets on because he thinks they make him look cool) and he might even have piles of dirty sports kit dotted around his room.

One thing is for absolute certain. He will probably have appalling bathroom habits. I’m talking lack of cleanliness, poor selection of toiletries and a hellish toilet seat.

But we can’t paint all boys with the same brush. That would be unfair. They exist on a spectrum of fitness that can be charted perfectly by what they do in the bathroom. So, if you are (un)lucky enough to have a boyfriend, take this quiz and we’ll tell you just how clapped he is based on his bathroom habits.


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