This is what the England Euro 2020 squad would be like if they were on Love Island
Harry Kane is Tommy Fury 2.0 and you can’t convince me otherwise
With six tantalising days until Love Island returns, you’ve got another week where the main boys on your screen are going to be 11 sweaty men trying to kick a ball into a goal as England compete at the Euros.
If that doesn’t really interest you and all you can think about is the Love Island villa, fear not. We’ve taken those England players, given them their own personalised water bottles and put them in the villa. Here is a complete breakdown of what every England player would be like if they were on Love Island.
Chat up line: “Are you looking for a keeper?”
Who they’d couple up with: Strutting into the villa with slicked back hair and a thick Geordie accent, multiple girls would step forward for him on the first day. Behind the bravado and polo shirts two sizes too small, his chat would be terrible. Jordan would stay committed in his low maintenance relationship throughout his time in the villa.
What they’d be remembered for: Going absolutely nuts with all the lads when Tom Zanetti gets brought out for a surprise DJ set.
Most like: Sam, Series 3
Chat up line: “Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot”
Who they’d couple up with: Let’s be honest, Luke is a Casa Amor boy. He’ll have said that mediocre chat up line in a game. Unsurprisingly unimpressed, none of the girls couple up with him and he’s sent packing days later with 60,000 new Instagram followers and an offer to do a few boohooMAN sponsored posts.
What they’d be remembered for: Not a whole lot.
Most like: George (Casa Amor), Series 6
Chat up line: “Your eyes are like the ocean”
Who they’d couple up with: Harry is a bit clumsy and finds himself third-wheeling for the first few weeks. As the public begin to root for him, he’s sent on date after date as girls try and bag him as their ticket to the final. He ends up in a Dr Alex type relationship with Alexandra which no one quite believes and they break up the moment they leave the villa.
What they’d be remembered for: A bromance for the ages.
Most like: Dr Alex, Series 4
Chat up line: “I didn’t know what I wanted in a woman until I saw you”
Who they’d couple up with: Tyrone is suave. He’s going to come in after a week and immediately force all the girls to reconsider their couples as they try and move to him. After a week where two girls fight over him, he eventually makes up his mind and they make it to the final.
What they’d be remembered for: Tyrone will inevitably be a really good chef and while the other boys produce some shocking scran for their date challenge, Tyrone will have girls at home wishing their boyfriend was like him.
Most like: Ovie, Series 5
Chat up line: “There must be something wrong with my phone, because it doesn’t have your number in it”
Who they’d couple up with: Northern lad with chat. Although he’s not THAT good looking, Kyle’s going to break hearts as he hops between girls like a hop on, hop off city bus.
What they’d be remembered for: He’ll inadvertently make some ballad do really well in the charts as they play it over the top of an emotional scene when he breaks a girl’s heart.
Most like: Callum, Series 6
Chat up line: “I’d love to take you home to meet my mum”
Who they’d couple up with: One of the lads. He’ll be involved in all of the jokes and coupled up with one of the popular girls as well. After rumours circulate that he and Jack Grealish had their heads turned in Casa Amor, he’s able to pull out the mum card and win back his girl.
What they’d be remembered for: Messing about around the villa playing pranks, he’ll basically fill up the Sunday evening unseen highlights show.
Most like: Jack Fowler, Series 4
Chat up line: “Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?”
Who they’d couple up with: Someone who’s going to fall for his personality coz Declan will look like every Brit abroad who spends the summer in Spain and is permanently sunburnt. Although he’ll be best mates with Phil Foden and Jack Grealish, he’ll keep his act relatively clean and be in a steady relationship.
What they’d be remembered for: Being as burnt as a lobster.
Most like: Curtis, Series 5
Chat up line: “You’re my type on paper”
Who they’d couple up with: Yeah, Jack has seen the show before and he’ll have no shame completely ripping off the most obvious line from it. He’s going to be everyone’s favourite but get ready for some Josh and Georgia style drama as he probably walks back in with a new girl.
What they’d be remembered for: The entire Casa Amor experience will be worth watching because of Jack and the potential the fall out back in the main villa when he brings in his new girl.
Most like: Josh, Series 4
Chat up line: “I’m no organ donor but I’d be happy to give you my heart”
Who they’d couple up with: Raheem is a proper London boy and he’s going to meet a London girl he has mutuals with inside the villa. Quiet and thoughtful, the public will fall for his intimate conversations with his girl but as the series goes on, become increasingly bored by his lack of entertainment and wonder why he’s still on the show.
What they’d be remembered for: Easily the best dancer out of the boys. As the rest of the boys awkwardly shuffle their feet, Raheem is going to pull out some insane dance with his partner.
Most like: Jamie, Series 3
Chat up line: “If Beyonce and two Rihannas walked in my head wouldn’t turn”
Who they’d couple up with: Harry Kane is Tommy Fury. It’s clear as day. That chat up line is straight from Tommy and they’d have exactly the same path in the villa. Maybe in a slightly dysfunctional couple to begin with, but very early on will settle down in a relationship you know will probably win the show.
What they’d be remembered for: Winning and probably his girlfriend. He’s got zero chat and although he’s one of the lads, he won’t be the source of any new gossip or quotes.
Most like: Tommy, Series 5