Stop oversexualising people with big boobs for wearing literally anything

Please just let me wear a nice top without mentioning my boobs

When you have big boobs, you absolutely cannot win. Whatever you do and whatever you wear, people still stare at them and you get endless comments. Women with big boobs are constantly oversexualised, and I’m sick of it.

Even if you shove them into a bulky jumper, your boobs are still huge and draw comments. You get called “frumpy”, people say you look like the Queen, and you have “shelf boob” jokes made about you. And then if you wear literally anything else, you’re a “slag” who loves getting her boobs out – even if your mate with smaller boobs could wear the exact same thing with no questions asked, and simply get complimented on her fashion choices.

If you wear a vest in summer, a strappy top on a night out, a sports bra to the gym or a tight v-neck to work, people just see your boobs and instantly the outfit becomes sexual rather than just, you know, some nice clothes that you like and feel comfortable in. You really don’t need to tell me my “boobs are out” – I know they are, and if you can see them it’s because I’ve chosen to wear an outfit that makes me feel good.

I was recently talking to a mate, she was sending me ASOS screenshots and we were deciding what she should wear for a job interview. She sent me a perfectly nice green cami top which wasn’t low-cut in the slightest, but the first thing I said was “I’d be worried about boobs in that”, as if the simple fact of having boobs would somehow make you a worse candidate for a job you’re more than deserving of.

It’s exhausting having to constantly second-guess how people will see you, how they’ll react and whether or not you’ll feel safe.

When I used to date men almost every single first message I’d receive would reference my boobs, regardless of what I was wearing in photos on my social media and dating app profile. I’ve been repeatedly told by complete strangers my boobs look “like a porn star”, and would get messages like “Your boobs look bigger than my future”, “How often do you catch people staring at your boobs?”, or simply “Hey, nice tits”.

Being constantly oversexualised makes clothes and pictures you genuinely like and feel good in, instead feel tainted and dirty.

By the time I was in year 9, my bra size was DD. They’ve obviously grown since then, no matter what weight I’ve been, and now my bra cup is bigger than my head. I’ve been inundated with these comments for as long as I can remember, getting asked if my boobs are real or calling them “melons”. And it’s gross.

I used to tell my mum that all I wanted for my 18th birthday was a breast reduction. Not because big boobs can be painful, sweaty and downright annoying, but because I was sick of being sexualised and harassed by men. It even happened frequently when I was barely a teenager, standing in my school uniform waiting with friends to get the train home.

Far too many women and girls have stories like this, and it’s obviously not something that is only experienced by those with big boobs. Meanwhile, men can walk around the streets with literally no top on, and not have to worry about being sexualised or even glanced at.

This doesn’t mean you can never mention people’s boobs – getting told “your boobs look good in that” by a mate or partner is obviously a compliment, but it’s coming from someone you love and have an established relationship with, and it’s the same as them commenting on your hair, your legs or your eyeshadow. What I’m sick of is random people constantly oversexualising big boobs purely for the fact they’re big.

Ask yourself: Would I comment on her boobs if the exact same top was being worn by someone smaller? I absolutely guarantee the answer is no, and in that case – look away, and shut up.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

These girls’ stories of being sexualised underage proves how depressingly normal it is

We all have a story like Aimee, Sex Education just finally paid attention to it

Teardrops and East Wests: There are nine types of boobs and this is what they look like