Matt Hancock has said we can’t hug until a vaccine has been found
Well if we can’t hug we definitely won’t be allowed to bonk
In a tense appearance on This Morning with Phil and Holly, Health Minister Matt Hancock has said we won’t be allowed to hug other people until a vaccine for coronavirus has been found.
When questioned about this decision by the legend that is Phil Schofield, Hancock responded “not until we have a treatment or vaccine – we should have something ready this autumn but there is a lot of science between now and then to get it.” For the sake of our virginities already starting to grow back, we pray that this science speeds up.
During the show Hancock also revealed that we can say goodbye to our summer holidays too, with it looking unlikely that we’ll be allowed to leave the country any time soon.
This just adds something else to the list of things we’ve had to give up so far. Already we’ve gone weeks without hairdressers and some really tragic trims have somehow been allowed to happen – looking at you mullet and buzzcut boys. We’ve been held hostage from Spoons and their gorgeous pitchers, and denied the sweet release of a 3am kebab after a night out. We may now be able to go to the park with one (!!) other person we don’t live with, but what’s the point if we can’t even hug them? We’re losing endorphins here.
However, there is a faint glimmer of hope that some form of summer holiday in the UK could still be on the cards. Hancock went on to divulge to Holly and Phil that “we will seek to reopen hospitality, some hospitality from early July if we keep successfully reducing the spread of this virus,” which sounds like an awfully waffly way of saying you’ll get to buy a drink at some point this summer if you behave. Well, cheers to that.