We asked students about little things driving them absolutely insane in quarantine

‘My dad goes to the toilet with the door open’

4 years ago

Spending extended periods of time with any one set of people is tough. That’s why so many couples break up on holiday. And that’s when there’s sun, sand and alcohol aplenty to distract you. But now we’re in Self-Isolation City, and no one’s having fun on this holiday.

Students have returned home to snoring parents, aggravating siblings and dads that shit with the door open. Those remaining at uni are dealing with flatmates in annoying relationship, and people literally bringing coronavirus into their house pre-drinks. And this isn’t a two week break – this is indefinitely.

We’re all collectively going a little insane, so to help ease the pain, here’s everyone else that’s going equally crazy too – and the reasons behind it. They’re petty. They’re little. But they’re valid. And maybe they will make you feel even a little bit better about your mum asking you to empty the dishwasher all the time. Oh shit I forgot to empty the dishwas-

My mum is a teacher and treats our house like a school

“We all have to pretend we’re at school from 9-6, no TV on or anything, I’m 21 and my brother is 18. It’s because my mum is a teacher working from home, but she works in the hospital which obviously isn’t happening right now, so she makes us sit at the table and do work. We even have a break time at 11am.”
Megan, 21, York

My dad shits with the door open

“I think I’m pretty gross. Like, I’ll happily out-loud fart in front of my housemates and waft it at them, but genuinely there’s something deeply not okay about your dad dropping a phat douce with the door open. It’s not just because he affects birth-giving noises while he’s doing it for no reason other than to piss me off, it’s the fact I can sometimes hear it hitting the fucking bowl. Absolute veto.”
Tom, 23, King’s

My sister talks to our cat in a baby voice

“My sister always talks to my cat in a baby voice and I literally can’t deal. And I mean full blown conversation. And it doesn’t respond. Because it is a cat! Who does not speak English.”
Zara, 20, Durham

Parents just don’t understand that we still have uni work

“None of my family can fathom that I actually still have online classes and give me 1000000 things to do around the house and just have no perception that uni work is a thing. Arriving home to self isolate is a task in itself but whenever your entire family are treating it as though it’s the holidays, it doesn’t make it any easier. Online classes are much harder to complete when you’ve got your mum casually swinging your door open during your lecture to see if there’s ‘any washing’ or having your dad singing at the top of his lungs while you’re answering your tutor.”
Kerri, 20, Ulster

I never thought I’d say this but my mum plays ABBA too much

“My mum is making me grow to dislike ABBA because I never realised how much she plays it? I walk into the kitchen and it’s always fucking playing. Ironically it’s always ‘does your mother know’.”
Kyle, 21, Northumbria

My housemate has a laugh like a foghorn

“I’m isolating away from my family so am staying at uni, and a few of my housemates are still here too (all boys – there’s been a lot of poo and wanking chat). One of them has literally the loudest laugh I’ve ever heard – think a witches cackle, but deeper, because it’s coming from the body of a 6 foot tall man. This is the second year I’ve lived with him and I’ve literally never noticed it until the last few days, but it’s honestly driving me insane. It’s gotten to the point where if it’s just him in the kitchen I’ll avoid going in there, because I don’t want to talk to him and hear the laugh. It honestly is one of those noises that goes right through you, and I can’t take it any more.”
Izzy, 21, Southampton

My dad thinks he’s the ultimate authority on coronavirus news

“We’ll watch or listen to the news about updates on corona and then my dad will repeat it for the whole day and announce it all to us as if we didn’t all hear the news and it’s new info to us.”
Olivia, 20, UCL

My housemate brings her boyfriend over and he works at the airport

“I’ve gone home because my housemates couldn’t understand social distancing and still had their (almost) boyfriends visiting – one lives in halls and one works at the AIRPORT. The halls one was coughing all over the place, literally said the phrase “I’ve got corona” and still stayed round. I was like – get the fuck out please?”
Hannah, 20, Nottingham

My mum keeps showing off her new furniture and I just don’t care

“My mum keeps repeating herself about what’s changed in the house since I’ve been gone. Today alone I have heard on five occasions ‘awk isn’t my new wee table lovely?’ STOP REPEATING.”
Andy, 21, Belfast

My housemate’s boyfriend came for pres and ended up isolating in our house for two weeks

“My housemate’s boyfriend had coronavirus and came to our house party (this was way before social distancing started, promise we’re not throwing house parties anymore lol). I noticed he looked a bit ill the whole night and was quite quiet but didn’t think anything of it, we went out after a massive pres (with like 30 people) but he walked home halfway through the night because he felt ill. Then the next day he starts showing all the symptoms, really sore throat, said it hurt to breathe, and so she made him quarantine in her room because he’d stayed over, then they self isolated at his house for like two weeks. My housemate had to spend her 21st birthday in quarantine. Peak.”
EJ, 20, Exeter

I’m currently at war with my mum over food seasonings

“If I even add salt to my food she’s there airing out the kitchen and holding her nose, it’s not a good time. An average tea for me growing up was a plain overcooked chicken breast and boiled carrots. There is a reason I am now vegan after that emotional trauma.”
Nicole, 21, Birmingham

My boyfriend does everything SO LOUDLY

“He’s honestly incapable of doing anything quietly, I’m sat there trying to get an essay done and he decides to sort of the pan cupboard. It’s been 72hrs and I’ve turned in to a heavy smoker and ran out of gin.”
Emily, 21, Bournemouth

My mum rations how many carrots I can eat

“My mum wakes me up everyday at 9 and makes me go on a run with her. she’s also rationing how many carrots I eat a day lol. I only get one now. I used to have three. They’re my favourite snack!”
Emily, 20, Cambridge

I cannot stand the sound of my girlfriend singing

“My girlfriend won’t stop singing – it’s incessant. I am working on deadlines still so having my brain intermittently rattled with pop ballads is the last thing i need. The worst thing about it is that I have to reply with a comment about the quality which, while often great, wears me down – I’ve run out of both superlatives and ways to express how much I hate it.”
Jamie, 20, Brunel

My mum is the loudest eater I have ever known

“God, do I love her. But my mum is an unbearably loud eater. I get out of the room every time she starts to eat unless there’s a significantly louder noise blocking it. I feel like the monsters from A Quiet Place except I hate sound, and she is Emily Blunt trying to give birth. I’m sick of it. Make it stop.”
Phoebe, 22, Newcastle

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• Experts confirm: No you can’t date, kiss or shag randomers during self-isolation

• These 32 self-isolation memes will make quarantine a little bit more bearable

• Exercising in isolation: All the fitness influencers doing free work out vids

Maddy Mussen