Which university do the Love Island cast members belong at?
Alex was too polite to decline his offer from UEA
Wes – University of Nottingham
Wes would definitely go to uni near home and not just because he's from there, but because when he finds something that he kind of likes, he wants to relentlessly stick with it.
So, the middle of the road guy that Wes is, means he'd go a pretty middle of the road uni, like Nottingham. You can picture him going a bit wild on a week night in Rock City, and he'd definitely be on a first name basis with the bouncers at Crisis.
Miraculously, after having a big night out in Ocean, he somehow manages to be fresh faced and alert enough to drive his Ford Focus a few miles home to see his Mum and have a nice meal.
Laura – Open University
Laura would most definitely stay in Scotland for university. No Scottish person ever goes to uni in England, because they don't want to pay for it.
She's got a bit of a party vibe about her, so would navigate to somewhere fun, like Glasgow. Laura would obviously go to uni a few years later than everyone else, because she likes being the older one amongst the group, and this wouldn't phase her. Nobody is too young for Laura.
Alex – UEA
"Do you really want to go to university in Norwich, son?"
"Well, no – but I suppose – look, are you sure if I say 'no' that other people will go there? – see no, I just feel bad now. Yes, I have to go. It's mean of me not to."
"But do you WANT to go there, Alex?"
"Oh, erm, ah, oh dear it's so difficult, I really don't know which to choose…"
There's your reasoning. He's a wet lettuce and he'd go there because he felt too bad not to.
Eyal – University of Sussex
Eyal is more Sussex than anything Sussex has ever produced ever. He obviously didn't go to leave straight after leaving his Catholic School in North London, instead he travelled the globe and saw many of the world's wonders, courtesy of his parent's cash. If you asked, he'd probably tell you that his parents bought him his gap year for an "early birthday present".
And that's why he would fit in so well at Sussex, specifically East Slope. everyone's been on a gap year – there's literally no other place for him. At Sussex however, he'd work day and night, pretending to be deeper and and more interesting than he actually is. He'd achieve this by hanging an Indian wall tapestry up in his bedroom, making frequent references of yoga and regularly using the word “fuck” every other word.
These three things combined would hopefully compensate for his overwhelming lack of personality.
Socially, he’s 100 per cent that guy who would get out his acoustic and at 4am after Patterns and play Wonderwall. He'd probably text his mate hosting after at 4pm that day saying, "Yeah, hey mate, is it calm if I drop my willow around at yours after our philoph sem?"
Hayley – Five UCAS rejections
I'm not going to write 200 words about how Hayley "definitely went to Liverpool (because she's scouser), and definitely studied Politics and IR (because she didn't know what Brexit was). I'm refuse. She didn't go, she didn't go, she didn't go.
Jack – University of Birmingham
Jack is an Essex boy who'd heard the rumour about the north and was adamant that he'd end up going to uni up there. He was dying to get a glimpse of what it was all about.
For an Essex boy, Birmingham is the north. So off he went.
Being a decent looking lad with some pretty decent chat, Birmingham is the perfect place for him. He’d always manage to pull at Fab on a Saturday night and he accent would sound neutral when he's thrown in the mix with the brummies.
It goes without saying that he'd study Business Management with aspirations to start his own business, and attain a 2:1, taking over his dad's business once he graduates.
Samira – University of Edinburgh
Like everyone at Edinburgh, Samira is pretty posh, she's really chatty and more than anything, she's hugely into theatre. This would automatically make her a BNOC at Edinburgh. Her profile picture would get hundreds of likes, despite them all being PR campaigns for the theatre production she's in that week.
It goes without saying though that Samira would be out most weeks with her Pollock gals, out on a big one, dancing the night away in Bongos wearing flared trousers and a wavy top.
Dani – University of Liverpool
Dani loves a night out so fucking much and that's the sole reason she'd choose Liverpool. She'd be the best person in the world to go on a night out with. She'd give the cocky boys wearing white skinny jeans in the club stick when they were being arrogant about how many grand they all make a week from working in construction.
Also, Liverpool is swimming with lads who are exactly the same as Jack. The clubs literally don't have lights, they just rely on the whiteness of everyone's teeth in there.
Adam – University of Leeds
Adam is fit and he knows it, much like everybody who ends up at Leeds. But also like everyone in Leeds, he can't handle rejection – how could someone even think about rejecting a student from one of the fittest unis in the country???
He'd thrive there purely because he could spend all his free time roaming around Hyde Park handing out flyers for Canal Mills, or alternatively doing the Otley run asking scared freshers, "are you in for a big night then??"
Within his first semester he'd have made 1,000 friends on Facebook, have gone out all almost every night of each week.
Charlie – University of Bath
Charlie couldn’t be any more Bath if he tried. He’s in ridiculously good shape, has delightful blonde hair, and is simply lovely.
He could talk about anything to anyone all day long if you wanted him to, and he'd never get bored.
Charlie would get right on board with the cheesier nights at Komedia, but would also popping bottles in Bridge on a Monday night. For the rest of the week, you'd see him working extremely hard in the uni gym despite being constantly approached for a conversation, because everyone knows and loves him.
Josh – Loughborough University
Josh would go here for the sports. He loves sports – both playing them and talking about them (his job on the outside world is social media for sports….the guys LOVES SPORTS).
Unlike most people who got to uni, Josh would actually sign up for loads of teams at the Freshers' Fair, including the rogue ones, such as Lacrosse, and actually commit to them.
He'd go to all of the trials, all of the socials and before he knew it he'd be captaining the Lacrosse first team. Through sports, Josh would meet so many people, remembering all of their names and finding things to talk about with each and every one of them every time they stopped him for a chat outside the library (because yes, he does study as well).
Rosie – Cardiff University
Rosie is a home bird and like all Welsh people, she's incredibly proud to be Welsh. When she got to uni, people probably asked her for her name, and she'd just reply "I'm Welsh". Classic.
Rosie and her mates would assemble every Monday for a big, strictly girls night out at Glam. She'd lose her mates, making friends with a tall, dark-haired boy from Newcastle who would then go on to break her heart. And this would happen every Monday.
She'd definitely end up in Family Fish every night trying to get some free chips off Abdul.
Georgia – Bournemouth University
She's just there for the good time. She doesn't care if she gets a 2:1 or even a 2:2, she just wants to sink lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of VK in Cameo and take pics with the gals down Bournemouth beach in the summertime.
Megan – Newcastle University
Picture this: Beautiful, beautiful Megan lives in the most gorgeous student house of all out in Jesmond. She brunches with her friends on a weekly basis in Arlos before her leisurely 1pm seminar, which she'd definitely talk in.
In the evenings she plaits her beautiful, beautiful hair and makes her way out to Swingers, taking a quick Instagram before she goes out which will rake in hundreds of likes in an hour.
She'd hang out in the Swingers smoking area – the photographer wouldn't stop taking photos of her and her beauty. She is the essence of Newcastle Uni: blonde and unbelievably fit.