Things girls weren’t allowed to do in 2017, according to men on the internet
Are you taking a selfie at the gym? BASIC
Women can't do anything without being criticised and 2017 was no different.
You own a glittery phone case? You're an active Snapchat user? You like pumpkin spiced flavoured products? Shut your legs, hoe.
I mean I get it, those "he is my everything😍" boyfriend posts make me vom a little bit in my mouth too. But there is no need to threaten to gut some seventeen year-old from Southampton just because she took a picture of her avocado and salmon brunch with 23 different hashtags.
Just let the basic bitches breathe man. You can take gym selfies on the stepper machine and use 🍑 emojis and still be a good person.
But what else did people get really, really mad at women for doing this year? Here is the comprehensive list.
Using the boomerang feature on Instagram
She’s a basic bitch if she overuses boomerang on her Instagram stories
— Blanco Niño (@EviISteve) December 20, 2017
Contender for most basic/whitest thing to do: girl throwing fall leaves in air for a IG boomerang
— Crypto Bebs (@the_czar__) November 22, 2017
And girls are simply not allowed to use snapchat filters at all
If you use a dog filter regularly to hide 25% of your face you are either a hoe or someone with a putrid malformed nose.
— Él Grubbo (@grubsofficial) January 21, 2017
Snapchat basic bitch went from the dog filter to the round glasses with freckles.
— Cee Moore (@RadoSteez) December 19, 2017
The Snapchat hearts filter has become the new "basic hoe dog filter"
— Pink (@riiibbonn) August 26, 2017
You are a terrible person if you tag photos, "drinks with this one"
Roll on drinks with this one, year today with this one, tbt to holiday with this one, happy birthday to this one, bleach shots with this one
— Menzi (@Andrewjmenzi) August 15, 2017
These tweets might not be gendered, but lets be honest, 80 percent of the people saying this are female.
'This one' is the most annoying thing.
'Out with this one' 'drinks with this one' fuck off
— Laz (@ConorLarris) December 9, 2017
Saying "boy did good 😍" is also off limits
Basic bitches be like "Boy Did Good😍"
— samuel. (@SJDisko) December 25, 2015
If you use these terms there's a good chance you're a basic bitch
"The boy did good"
— Joey Mccole (@JoeyMcCole) March 16, 2017
Your just pissed because you GF never says you did good.
Pose with balloons on your birthday
If a girl take pictures with these balloons it's a 90 percent chance she a hoe. pic.twitter.com/4y0Y8tcypc
— TUKAY (@TukayMusic) March 13, 2017
No honestly this makes you a hoe, even if you have been doing this since you were 12 years old.
Enjoy Drake's music? You're a slag then
Okay just wake me up when the basic hoe's are done quoting lyrics from Drake's songs.
— The Narrator (@KutlwanoHlomuka) June 22, 2015
She a hoe if she knows all the words to passionfruit already.
— Adam (@GezusAdam) March 23, 2017
Alright Adam, like you don't go mad when "Started from the Bottom" drops in the club
Wearing leggings makes you a THOT
If she wears tights/leggings in public she's a basic hoe
— OWEN (@Owen_Gift) February 21, 2017
If you're the hoe that wears leggings with ugg boots & the basic braids with the smallest crop top. You a hoe straight up. Bye.
— Chris De Leon (@princenxxtdoor) April 26, 2016
Chokers are also not acceptable
It breaks my heart when I see a cute girl or girl that I like wear a choker cuz then I immediately think hoe/basic
— Devin Martin (@soyeljefeee) January 25, 2017
Better not wear chokers gals, you don't want to put Devin off!!!!
I mean, some guys like really hate chokers
Your choker needs to be tighter….tighter….keep going….tighter…there you go. One less basic hoe.
— 🎭 (@c17v) November 17, 2016
I'll chop a basic/stranger hoe in the throat if she wears a choker
— Idris Elbow (@MomyeWest) November 4, 2014
Watch these guys turn up at Urban Outfitters with a bloodied axe.
And of course girls are not aloud to drink pumpkin spiced lattes/unicorn lattes/basically any frothy beverages from high street chains
Uh oh basic hoe season is coming. Already spotting the pumpkin spice lattes on Snapchat
— Duke 11-1 😈 (@tbrock33) September 5, 2017
Need to know if buying a Unicorn coffee at starbucks just made you more basic than what you already were.
— Vega (@Antonio_Vga_) April 26, 2017
New one: Don't buy a marble phone case
Does every girl with minted parents have that marble phone case with their initials on because I’m pretty fucking certain they do
— Connor Rotheram (@ConnorRotheram) December 12, 2017
Girls with ambition? Absolutely not
You know she a hoe if she thinks 2018 is her year
— YANEZZZ™ (@Yanez49) December 16, 2017
You should probably bin your self-confidence too
She a hoe if she claim she 'confident' and 'outgoing'
— Kenny ツ🏒 (@kdriley05) December 19, 2017
Like astrology? Read your horoscope? Get fucked
if she bring up astrology she a hoe
— Roshi (That dude who made that one good song) (@Big_Roshi) March 23, 2017
If you go to the gym to improve your body but like, you're quite chill about it. To gain respect, you must try harder
Everybody knows that 1 hoe on snapchat that is always @ da gym flexing her "progress" but she still look like the same basic bitch to me.
— Carson Boorigie (@CarsonBoorigie) August 22, 2017
Maybe she doesn't wanna run 5k, maybe she just wants a luxe thigh gap???
If your girl runs on an eliptical/treadmill while reading a book at the gym then that hoe basic.
— Chas (@welchcw2) December 20, 2012
Sorry Chas, but this just sounds plain enterprising to me.
Don't heat lasagne ready meals in the microwave – what if it splats everywhere and you turn into a big fat hoe
She a hoe if her microwave dirty😒
— Mello-D (@fatdaddy025) December 7, 2017
Olive green coats are also bad
She a hoe if she own a olive green jacket
— parT doG (@JustinIsntHere) December 17, 2017
You're okay if the bomber is in forest green or mint.
Seriously, like don't suffer from a mental illness, it's really basic guys
If I had a dollar for every time a basic bitch said she has anxiety I’d be fuckin rich
— 💦 (@Ricardoubt) September 14, 2017
Basic Bitch Tweet " IM ALWAYS SO SAD, I MUST HAVE DEPRESSION"
— Matt Bardarson (@mattbardarson85) May 2, 2013
Women need to just stop doing stuff. Like remove yourself from social media, only eat plain beige food, don't use popular phrases like "yaaas kweeen", bin any clothes that make you feel comfy, in fact just wear black long sleeved tops and skinny jeans at all times. Continue shaving off parts of your identity until you become a featureless nub, then maybe, just maybe, you will become an acceptable member of society.
she a hoe if she breathes oxygen
— Darius (@LordUglyFlavko) December 13, 2017
Oh and stop breathing.