Ranking Bridgerton’s new Lady Whistledown theories, from plausible to downright ridiculous

Bridgerton season four really did the most. Between the romance, the finale also dropped one massive mystery on us: If Penelope has truly retired from the gossip game… who’s the new Lady Whistledown?

After Penelope dramatically set down her quill in the final episode, the Ton was left without its favourite scandal sheet. Queen Charlotte was understandably unimpressed, society was in shambles, and the internet immediately began spiralling into theory mode.

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Some suspects make a surprising amount of sense. Others feel like the kind of theory you come up with at 2am after watching the finale three times in a row.

So, here’s a ranking of the leading Lady Whistledown theories, starting with the ones that are almost definitely wrong and ending with the ones that might actually be onto something.

6. Colin Bridgerton

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Yes, technically Colin likes writing. We know this because of his travel journals, which he was very proud of and definitely tried to make everyone read.

But being able to describe a Mediterranean sunset does not mean you can run the Ton’s most ruthless gossip empire. Penelope’s writing thrived on sharp wit and social sabotage. Colin’s vibe is more gap year reflections.

Also, imagine him trying to secretly roast his own family in print. The man could barely survive one awkward dinner conversation. Lady Whistledown he is not.

5. Mrs Varley

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The Featherington household’s housekeeper has one major qualification: She knows everything. If there’s gossip floating around Mayfair, chances are she’s already heard it.

Season four even highlighted how good she is at collecting secrets, which definitely raised a few eyebrows.

But there’s one major issue. Running Lady Whistledown is essentially a full-time job. And historically, the show has pointed out that working-class staff simply wouldn’t have the time (or freedom) to run an anonymous publishing operation on the side.

Sadly for the theory lovers, Mrs Varley probably has enough on her plate already.

4. Eloise Bridgerton

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For a long time, Eloise seemed like the obvious candidate. She’s clever, observant, and more than capable of delivering the kind of cutting commentary Whistledown is famous for.

The Queen even suspected her back when the mystery first started.

But after discovering Penelope was behind the original column, Eloise’s fascination with Whistledown kind of fizzled out. The appeal vanished once it became real.

Plus, Eloise already has a lot going on in her storyline. Adding a secret gossip empire on top of everything else might be slightly overkill.

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3. Francesca Bridgerton

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Francesca suddenly finds herself in a pretty lonely position: Her husband has died, and her closest companion has left.

Which raises the question: What exactly does one do with all that spare time in Regency society?

Starting a scandalous gossip newsletter would certainly fill the hours. And, no one would suspect the quiet widow quietly judging everyone from the corner of the ballroom.

The whole “unassuming observer secretly documenting scandal” thing would actually fit her quite well.

2. Lady Penwood

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Lady Penwood, better known as Cressida Cowper, didn’t exactly shine the last time she tried to make waves in society, but a return with a secret identity could change everything.

Taking over the Whistledown mantle would instantly give her influence and relevance again. And if she played it right, she could shape how society sees her.

What better way to rehabilitate your reputation than anonymously controlling the narrative?

1. Hyacinth Bridgerton

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Out of everyone in the Ton, Hyacinth was probably the most upset about Penelope retiring the column. Not because of the gossip, but because it meant nobody would be writing about her debut.

That alone is hilarious motivation.

But she also ticks a lot of the right boxes: She’s observant, bold, curious, and clearly fascinated by the social games happening around her.

Plus, making the youngest Bridgerton the new Lady Whistledown would be a massive twist, and the show has already proved it’s happy to deviate from the books.

And really, who would suspect the youngest sibling quietly sitting in the corner… taking notes? Exactly.

With the original mystery solved and a new one now underway, the show could take this storyline pretty much anywhere. Whether the next Whistledown is a Bridgerton, a social climber, or someone we haven’t even considered yet, one thing is guaranteed: The Ton’s secrets are definitely not staying secret for long.

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Featured image credit: Netflix