Valentine’s Day as a Leeds student: does it have to come with a price tag?

Every year, Valentine’s Day arrives with the same reassurance; it is not about the money. Yet scroll through social media in the weeks leading up to 14 February and a different message appears. Valentine’s Day student spending becomes another hidden expense of university life.

Expensive restaurant bookings, gift hauls, and carefully curated displays of romance set the standards high. For students, this disconnect is hard to ignore. Valentine’s Day no longer feels like a simple celebration. Instead, it feels like another expectation to meet, with a Klarna receipt at the end of it.

When romance becomes a performance

In theory, Valentine’s Day should be simple: a thoughtful plan, a small gesture, something meaningful. In practice, however, romance has become highly visible and increasingly performative.

Social media amplifies this shift. Instagram feeds fill with roses, cocktails and photos framed as romantic milestones. Even for those who claim not to care, comparison is unavoidable. A quiet night in can start to feel less like a choice and more like a failure.

As a result, many students panic-book dinners, buy last-minute gifts they cannot afford, and check their overdraft like it’s a hobby. Romance starts to feel like something to prove rather than something to enjoy.

The cost-of-living context students cannot escape

Valentine’s Day student spending doesn’t exist in isolation. It lands right in the middle of a cost-of-living crisis that many students are already navigating daily. A Save the Student article broke down the monthly costs of students, finding that on average students across the country spend over £1,100 a month. This hardly covers our loans, so even if you can afford to treat yourself or your partner, good luck getting the time off work!

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This pressure makes an event built around spending feel especially heavy. According to a survey by the National Union of Students, almost all students have had to cut back on essentials like food and travel because of rising costs, leaving even less room for “optional” spending.

One Leeds student summed this pressure up simply:

“This year, my boyfriend is just going to stay in and cook. Valentine’s is just too expensive with everything else going on. It’s about the time together, really, not what we do.”

There are cheaper ways to show care.

Still, the idea that effort must equal spending is misleading. Romance does not require a reservation or a receipt.

Many low-cost alternatives exist. Cooking a meal together, a film night with a shared playlist, a long walk around Leeds with takeaway coffees are all amazing options. These plans often feel more intentional than rushed, overpriced dinners booked out of obligation.

There are also plenty of local options that don’t break the bank in Leeds, from free walks around Kirkstall Abbey and the Leeds Waterfront Heritage Trail to picnic spots and discount cinema outings, all perfect examples of meaningful Valentine’s Day plans that don’t require expensive reservations or gifts.

Galentine’s has not escaped the pressure either.

Even Galentine’s has become commercialised. What started as a celebration of friendship now often revolves around bottomless brunches, themed club nights and matching outfits. However, that doesn’t have to be the case.

Cheaper alternatives are just as meaningful: a craft night with charity shop supplies, a Love Island marathon with homemade cocktails, or a pizza night with friends and shared playlists. None of these require tickets, dress codes or debt. Friendship does not need a price tag, even if social media suggests otherwise!

Gendered expectations still shape the day.

Valentine’s Day student spending carries clear gendered expectations. Men often feel pressure to plan and pay and women often feel pressure to appear grateful, even when gestures feel rushed or financially stressful.

At the same time, women learn to minimise expectations entirely. Saying they do not mind or do not care becomes part of the performance, but the pressure remains.

Low-cost alternatives also challenge this dynamic: writing a letter, planning a day based on shared memories, or simply asking what your partner actually wants can centre connection over cash.

Choosing not to perform

Ultimately, the issue is not that students want to celebrate Valentine’s Day. It is that celebration has become so closely tied to spending that opting out feels like breaking an invisible rule.

Not making a fuss needs justification. Keeping things low-key requires explanation. What gets lost is choice: the freedom to celebrate quietly or not at all. The ability to enjoy the day without feeling judged by Instagram, friends or each other.

Maybe Valentine’s Day really is not about the money, but until affection stops being measured by price, it will keep feeling that way. In a city full of students just trying to get by, perhaps the most romantic thing this Valentine’s Day is refusing to turn love into another financial test.

With the examples we’ve put here, hopefully Valentine’s Day will feel less extortionate, and become something to get excited about!

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