Forget the jungle: These things in KCL students’ halls are worse than being on I’m a Celeb

While watching this years celebs battle the Australian jungle by eating creamed eel or drinking blended fish eyes, you can’t help but draw a comparison to the experience of living in accommodation as a King’s student.

Spoiler alert: The following examples may bring up some deep routed trauma you thought you had resolved and for that I am sorry. Yet you should still remember that you have triumphed while those very celebrities are still deep in the jungle.

So, here are the four things in KCL students’ accommodation that make being on I’m a Celeb look easy.

The blocked kitchen sink

Like the eating trials Angry Ginge and Ruby Wax faced the other day, you know its coming. It starts quietly after someone has decided it’s a brilliant idea to dispose of their meal remnants down the sink, despite the bin being two metres away.

Combined with plenty of liquids that will also go down the sink, a strange concoction that only your GCSE science teacher would be proud of begins to brew and bubble away. The only option left is to clear it all out. Just the very thought of that mushy, wet, cold gloop you pull out makes my stomach flip.

Of course, this is way scarier because at some point you are going to need to use that sink. You can’t just end the trial once it gets too much. Luckily for Ginge and Ruby, they could opt out!

Any kind of animal infestation – get me out of there

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As your accommodation warms up closer to those end-of-year exams and you leave the windows open,  infestations start to take over. Maggots take up residence in your bins and under your furniture and  silverfish spreads from room to room.

Even a plague of pigeons appears after you forgot to close your bedroom window before going home for reading week. At least in a bushtucker trial you get to leave and return to the safety of the camp, rather than having to share your pillow with a couple of birds or dodge the maggots as you put away your weekly food shop.

The flatmate who is always in the kitchen

Why is it that no matter if it’s 3pm or 3am, there’s always that one flatmate haunting the kitchen? Sometimes I just want to make my hot chocolate in peace looking dishevelled in my pjs, but instead I end up feeling caught and rather exposed.

This is similar to the self-proclaimed leader of the camp who secretly can’t let go of the control. However, this flatmate trumps them. At least with a camp leader on I’m A Celeb they will either be dethroned or someone new will be elected. This flatmate is inescapable, with each interaction more awkward than the last and no gold stars in sight.

Fridge mayhem

Do you ever come back from reading week and dread opening up the fridge? Well, maybe you are lucky not to but for those who do: I’m sure you know the feeling well. There is nothing quite like opening it up and seeing that delectable pool of questionable fridge juice collecting at the bottom.

Or accidentally touching something that once resembled food but is now both fury and fluorescent green. Even in a bushtucker trial you can count on the food to be at least somewhat edible. Now you have your own jungle to conquer in your kitchen as you reach for the cucumber for your sandwich.