Rogue messages you might see in your Manchester flat groupchat

The best part of first year uni is that they stick a random group of 18 and 19 year olds in a flat together and call it a day. The worst part of uni is… also that they stick a random group of 18 and 19 year olds in a flat together and call it a day.

Either way, there’s nothing that will give you that first year experience like living in halls. You’ll laugh, cry and cringe when you think of your first uni home and the people you shared it with.

In honour of the new academic year, I’ve compiled a selection of the best text messages to grace our first year flat group chat: the gross, the random and the somewhat endearing. Whether you’re mourning the flatmates you’ve got or perfectly content with your new friends, there will most likely be something on this list that you won’t hear in your flat group chat.

The Pan Incident

There are many acceptable and predictable responses to the message ‘has anyone seen my saucepan?’ – I think we succeeded in receiving the strangest one. We still discuss this, mainly in attempt to find out whose pan the thief thought it was, and why they thought it would be okay to take anyone’s pan into a different flat block. The pan itself did return (the batch of chilli no longer in it) but it was a rogue decision to make two weeks into uni either way.

No point crying over stolen milk

Most Read

This AI Ghostface trend is all over TikTok, so here’s how to make your own Scream photo

‘You belong to us’: OnlyFans model dumped in Dubai with broken spine speaks out for first time

People think Justin Bieber’s post on Selena’s wedding day was shady, and he’s getting dragged

I’m not sure what sort of creature returns from 256 and necks a pint of milk, but it appears we had one living with us. Or maybe it was an excuse? Either way, I wouldn’t recommend stealing anyone’s groceries in this economy – they will notice.

That Monday Feeling

There’s so much to unpack here. The 7am timestamp, the desperation, the mutual agreement. The whole thing is just so perfectly first year, and absolutely ended in a trip to Friendship.

No Fire on Bus

There’s always one that you will quote forever. Simple but effective. The chaos of Oxford Road can never quite be predicted – but its safe to assume there’s no fire on the 143 if your flatmate is sat texting on it.

Parrots

I empathise with this one: not everyone is from London and desensitised to seeing parakeets in the trees. After much research (a genuine deep-dive was conducted), we discovered the story behind the Fallowfield parakeets. We then received photos of them for weeks to come.

Photo Not Included

Receiving this message is one thing, and first year will teach you what a messy kitchen can look like. However, receiving this only weeks after discovering a maggot infestation in your food bin is another. Some people have genuinely no idea that the cleaning fairies don’t exist…