Student who pulled out her eyes during psychotic episode now helps others fight addiction

TW: This article contains graphic details which may be distressing.

A gifted student who pulled out her own eyes during a psychotic episode now aims to help others fighting addiction.

Kaylee Muthart was just 20 years old when she blinded herself during a meth-induced hallucination.

Now 27, Kaylee has since learned braille, is working towards her high school diploma from Penn Foster, and has aspirations to study neurobiology at university. She also gives motivational talks to others who may be experiencing similar mental-health struggles.

Whilst the former student had initially steered clear of hard substances after leaving school at 17 to save up for university, addiction runs in Kaylee’s family, which made her relationship with drugs more fraught.   

By the age of 19, she had become friends with people who encouraged substance abuse. Her mental health began to severely decline, she received a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, and a relationship breakdown with her partner left her heartbroken and spiralling.

The former model pupil had received a spot on the National Honour Society, an organisation that recognises and develops high-achieving secondary school students. But on February 6th 2018, Kaylee inhaled from a joint spiked with the drug methamphetamine, a potent central nervous system stimulant. 

via Facebook

The incident occurred just days before she was due to go into rehab at her mother’s urging, and she viewed it as a final intake before trying to kick her addiction for good.

However on this occasion, Kaylee consumed more methamphetamine than usual, and what ensued was a drug-induced hallucination. She became convinced there was someone at a church nearby she must meet, and began to make her way there.

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Kaylee’s friend, who she’d been living with, drove past as she walked to the church. She said she remembers them calling out of the car window: “I locked up the house. Do you have the other key?”

In her drug-induced state, Kaylee interpreted this as a plea for “sacrifice”. She was convinced someone must sacrifice something important to “right the world”, and that person had to be herself. The gifted student then pulled out her own eyes.

During an interview with Cosmopolitan, the 27-year-old said she remembers thinking: “‘Why me? Why do I have to do this?'”

The former student continued: “I pushed my thumb, pointer, and middle finger into each eye […] It felt like a massive struggle, the hardest thing I ever had to do.”

Kaylee was then discovered screaming: “I want to see the light”. Luckily, a pastor rushed to help her, and the 27-year-old has since said she believes she would’ve caused herself much more damage without his intervention.

When the pastor found Kaylee, she was reportedly holding her eyeballs in her hands, and upon arrival at the hospital it took seven people to restrain her. Doctors removed what was left of her eyes in order to prevent infection and save her optic nerves.

Kaylee getting prosthetic eyes inserted by a doctor in 2020 via SWNS

Rather than giving up, the incident left Kaylee with remarkable determination to pave a new future for herself.

She sought recovery from substance addiction, mastered numerous technologies for blind people, and secured employment at a restaurant in Florida.

The 27-year-old wears prosthetic eyes now, and even recounted the benefits of blindness for her recovery journey to the Daily Star: “Sometimes I think it’s a blessing that I am blind because even nowadays, if I ever do get a drug craving, which is very little, but in addiction when you have used the needle, you imagine the blood going into the syringe and that is an eyesight temptation.

“You can’t really do it blind, you could do it I’m sure, but I don’t know if it would be smart.”

In an interview with the Daily Mail, Kaylee said the thing she misses the most is seeing her daughter smile. But the 27-year-old has still insisted “life is more beautiful now”, and would always choose blindness over addiction.

Featured image via Facebook/YouTube