Urban Outfitters’ 2025 Uni Essentials list is here and these 10 items are very unessential

It’s that time of year when all UK university students stop living in denial that they will return to uni, and start panicking that they have done zero preparation for the new term. Urban Outfitters have dropped their Uni Essentials list for 2025, and some of the stuff is so bizarrely unessential. I’m obsessed.

To up the pick-me energy even more, Urban Outfitters have categorised the stuff into four ranged entitled “The Bedrotter”, “The Oversharer”, “The Debriefer” and “The Selfcarer”. Sure. Urban Outfitters has also dropped a uni checklist – lest you forget your incence, trinket tray or tapestry.

Now, there are plenty of items on the list that I’m sure several students will love. Urban Outfitters does sell Stanley bottles and Fjallraven rucksacks to help you blend in with the masses in lectures. I do also feel a strong urge to buy the tiger bathmat. Plus, students get 10 per cent off. But some items have me questioning whether anyone at Urban Outfitters has ever met a real life student.

So, here are the ten least essential items on the Urban Outfitters Uni Essentials list for 2025:

Nee Doh Nice Cube Squish

I’m so confused

This appears to be a cube that you squish? I don’t get it.

Leonore Gold Chenille 5.7 Rug

Maybe the leopard print pattern will disguise any ketchup stains?

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Hmmm. What could possibly go wrong if you put a big flashy £134 rug in a uni room, in which students eat, drink and fornicate? As soon as your coursemates show up for pres with muddy trainers and a bottle of unnaturally fluorescent rosé, your rug is doomed.

Henry Hoover Mini Desk Vacuum

Henry Hoover looks so cute, even as I insult him

I am begging anyone who understands the point of these to write into The Tab explain it to me. How is it more efficient to clean crumbs of your desk using an £18 contraption than to just use your hands and some kitchen roll? The mini vacuum is 10cm big, so may take up more space on your desk than the actual mess does.

Snoopy Flower Trinket Dish

It’s £11

I’m not questioning how cute Snoopy is. I’m just questioning the entire concept of trinket dishes. What trinkets could you possibly need to display on a dish? Surely small things like earrings should live in a box, and larger things like keys can be dumped directly onto a surface? I suppose you could serve your flatmates small sweets on it?

Mr Maria X Smiley Lamp

I initially thought it was a fitness ball

I could write a whole separate feature on the strangeness of Urban Outfitters’ Uni Essentials lamp selection. If you ever wanted a tomato-shaped lamp, a Sriracha-shaped lamp, a £89 jelly lamp or a humungous £169 Miffy lamp, you’re in luck!

This whopping 45cm, £129 smiley face lamp is surely the strangest lighting feature on sale this year. Are you supposed to keep it on the floor, where you’ll trip over it when you return from a night out?

Pioneer DJ DDJ-FLX4 DJ Controller

Babes, have you heard of Spotify? x

I’m sure lots of students would love to own a DJ controller (assuming they had £265 to spare). But I’m not convinced their parents would love cramming it into the car. And I know the rest of their accommodation block would not love being woken up because that one silly fresher is attempting to compose more Charli XCX remixes at 4am on a Tuesday.

Harry Styles Crochet Kit

I fear I would struggle to embroider the tattoos correctly

Tragically, I want this. But if you’re starting uni, I would recommend you prioritise packing pans and duvet cases and towels before the Harry Styles Crochet Kit.

Lily Rattan Media Console

Well, it’s on sale from £149 to £89!

Ah, because what student’s room in the UK doesn’t have space for a TV stand that measures 120cm by 40cm by 46cm? I swear I’ve seen bedrooms that are smaller than that.

Glass Heart Drawer Knob

Please, swap them back for the regular knobs before your landlord notices

I’m going to take a wild leap and say that if you replace the knobs on all the drawers in your uni room with glass hearts from Urban Outfitters, your landlord might not be impressed.

Blue & Green Stripe Bubble Chair

Maybe the garish colour scheme will blend in nicely with the garish colour scheme of most uni rooms?

Erm, I’m pretty certain most rooms in student accommodation blocks already have a chair. So you don’t need to splurge £399 on whatever the hell this is.

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