The poshest and least necessary things on John Lewis’s 2026 ‘university essentials’ list

Are you stressing over what to pack for university? Well, here’s some stuff you absolutely do *not* need to bring. John Lewis has dropped their 2026 “university essentials” list, and it’s so middle class that I can’t believe it’s not satire. Here are the least essential things on the John Lewis 2026 “university essentials” list.

Marc Jacobs leather tote bag – £495.00

(Image via John Lewis)

Surely, John Lewis is trolling me with this.

Cole & Mason electronic mill – £50.00

(Image via John Lewis)

Yup, that’s a gadget to grind your black peppercorns and rock salt for you. I suggest students lower their culinary stands and spend the 50 quid on something a bit more useful, that your intoxicated flatmates can’t use as a bat in a spontaneous game of table tennis at 4am.

Stanley Quencher, Rose Quartz – £45.00

(Image via John Lewis)

Well, a pastel pink Stanley cup is definitely essential if you want the whole lecture hall to know exactly who you are as a person. Good luck with washing up that straw each day using the flat’s communal sponge!

Estee gel pen gift set – £22.50

(Image via John Lewis)

Pfft, what 18-year-old uses gel actual pens and, like, mushed-up bleached tree corpse these days?

Seriously though, don’t buy new pens for uni. Do one lap of the Freshers Fair and you’ll accumulate enough biros to last for a PhD.

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Universities of Britain tea towel – £5.00

(Image via John Lewis)

This is the most middle-class tea towel I’ve ever seen, and I’ve been to most National Trust gift shops in Hampshire. How come Cambridge takes up half the bl*ody country, but the University of Manchester, the second-biggest in the UK after UCL, doesn’t even get a picture? Why aren’t LSE or Loughborough University on there, when they rank way better in league tables than most of the unis that are?

Having said that, you should totally bring some tea towels to uni and this is a great reminder.

Tefal non-stick pan set, six piece – reduced from £170.00 to £112.00

(Image via John Lewis)

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but uni students do not need six pans. Nobody needs six pans, especially when it’s really three types of pan in different sizes. You could be cooking pasta in one pan, and cooking a sauce, and mulling wine, and boiling your menstrual cup, and offering one to your hungover flatmate as an impromptu vessel to chunder in, and you’d still have a pan sitting in the cupboard. Just contemplate that for a moment.

John Lewis hairpin desk – £399.00

(Image via John Lewis)

I have yet to see a room in student accommodation that didn’t already have a desk. Presumably, only the poshest students among us would buy this for uni, since a) it costs several weeks’ rent b) you’d need a monstrous Land Rover with a jumbo-sized boot to transport it. Good luck with taking this and all your bags on the train…

Cole & Mason 16-jar filled spice rack carousel – £80.00

(Image via John Lewis)

I hate how much I want this. Your uni flatmates will also hate you if you take up an entire kitchen cupboard, or half the work surface with this.

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