Zoella doesn’t owe us her private life, but she does owe us a little explanation

It’s been nearly a year since Zoella and Alfie Deyes seemingly disappeared from YouTube and social media, and I really don’t think it’s unreasonable to want a little explanation.

 

 

 

 

 

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A post shared by Zoë Sugg (@zoesugg)

There has been the odd hint and a few crumbs of information along the way, but we’ve heard very little directly from the couple themselves. While I completely understand why someone might want to step away from the internet, I can’t help thinking that after spending the best part of 15 years making a living from sharing their lives with us, they could at least say something.

I was 11 when I first started watching Zoella. Her videos were a pretty significant part of growing up for me, and I’d genuinely still watch them now if she were uploading. I know I’m far from the only person who feels this way. For an entire generation, Zoella was someone we watched decorate her house, go on holiday, celebrate milestones and navigate all the very ordinary parts of life.

Of course, we didn’t actually know her. What we had was a parasocial relationship, and I don’t think anyone should confuse watching someone’s videos for being entitled to a front-row seat to their private life; but I also think it’s worth acknowledging how that relationship was built in the first place.

 

 

 

 

 

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A post shared by Zoë Sugg (@zoesugg)

For years, Zoella’s career was based on inviting people into her world. She shared an extraordinary amount of her life online, and that connection with her audience was a huge part of what made her successful. When you’ve spent years actively encouraging that connection, I don’t think it’s particularly outrageous for people to wonder where you’ve gone when it suddenly stops.

Any discussion about Zoella and Alfie’s disappearance seems to bring out two very different camps. On one side, there are people arguing that they have every right to privacy and don’t owe strangers anything. On the other, there are people who think a simple update wouldn’t exactly be asking the world of them.

I don’t need a 40-minute sit-down video explaining every reason they’ve stepped away. I don’t need to know what they’re doing every day or whether they’re planning another house renovation. I don’t even particularly care if they never upload again.

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A 10-second Instagram story saying they’re doing well, taking a break and have no current plans to return would probably be enough. And, arguably, it would put an end to the endless speculation about where they’ve gone and whether something has happened. If anything, the constant conversations about their disappearance must be more irritating than simply acknowledging it.

 

 

 

 

 

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A post shared by Zoë Sugg (@zoesugg)

I also think there’s a difference between demanding access to someone’s private life and expecting a little consideration for the audience that helped build their career. Influencers aren’t obligated to stay online forever, but their relationship with their audience is also part of their job.

Maybe this is just the downside of parasocial relationships. We get so used to having people in our lives through a screen that we forget they don’t actually know us. And when they stop showing up, it can feel oddly personal, even when it isn’t.

Zoella and Alfie can leave YouTube. They can leave Instagram. They can decide that they never want to make another video again, and that’s entirely their choice.

I just think that after 15 years of making money from letting us into their lives, a tiny acknowledgement that they’re leaving would be nice. Not because we own a piece of them, but because we were there for a pretty significant part of their journey.

Surely that’s not too much to ask?

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Featured image via YouTube/Instagram