Every Uni of York college as which British chain restaurant they’d undeniably be

Halifax has Spoons energy and I won’t be told otherwise

7 months ago

It’s no secret that York is renowned for its food. With pubs and bars for days, there’s no shortage of places to visit, but sometimes you’ve just got to disappoint your inner foodie and indulge in the comforting familiarity of a good old UK chain restaurant. That is, until they become too familiar and morph into a home away from home – much like York’s colleges. With that in mind, here’s every York college as what establishment they would undeniably be:

Alcuin – TGI Fridays

Alcuin via Google Maps / TGI Fridays via Google Maps

As the studious college, every Alcuin resident ever has thanked god it’s Friday every time the end of the week rolls around and they can finally relax. That still doesn’t mean they’re going to go outside though. Like the elusive Alcuin student, TGI Fridays also seems to just not exist anywhere in the area. (Please, TGI Fridays, I am begging you to open a York branch, if only for my own sanity.)

Anne Lister – Pizza Express

Anne Lister via YouTube / Pizza Express via Google Maps

Anne Lister College is somewhat of a trailblazer. Not only is it the first York college to be named after a woman, it’s also the first to be named after an LGBTQ+ icon. It’s only fitting that Pizza Express, the trailblazer of the UK pizza chain world, would go hand-in-hand with Anne Lister. Plus they both seem like nice places to visit, so that’s a bonus.

Constantine – All Bar One

Constantine via Google Maps / All Bar One via Google Maps

I can’t quite explain why, but All Bar One gives off upmarket vibes with it’s bottomless brunches and endless list of cocktails. Ideal for a college renowned for enjoying the finer things in life. What better way to spend a lazy Sunday than treating yourself to a meal in town with the girls?

David Kato – Five Guys

David Kato via YouTube / Five Guys via Google Maps

Being the newest York college, not much is actually known about David Kato. The humble potato seems to be an icon over there though, and Five Guys does have a reputation for giving you an insane amount of fries, so they’re clearly fans of the good old tuber too. A match made in heaven.

Derwent – Wagamama

Derwent via Google Maps / Wagamama via Google Maps

Whether it’s a good katsu or a good duck, both Derwent and Wagamama get most of their publicity from a singular aspect of their existence. In fact, I don’t think I’ve been to Derwent since we lost Long Boi (rip king), and I don’t think I’ve ever gone to Waga’s and not had the katsu. Being fair though, the atmosphere in both is pretty chilled.

Goodricke – Harvester

Goodricke via Google Maps / Harvester via Google Maps

Goodricke College is the stuff of legends. If you’re not a Goodricke resident, you’re pretty hard pressed to find someone who is, much like you’re hard pressed to find a York student who has been inside a Harvester in the last year. I can’t knock it though – having visited Goodricke before, it seems alright, just like the food from Harvester (as far as I can remember, anyway).

Halifax – Spoons

Halifax via Google Maps / Spoons via Google Maps

Spoons is absolutely Halifax in restaurant form. Much like Halifax is home to the largest population of all the colleges, there are Spoons locations absolutely everywhere, and both of them offer absolute steals in the form of £99 rooms and two-for-one pitchers. Plus Spoons locations and Halifax courts both have names that nobody outside of them remembers (sorry, Halifax residents).

James – Nando’s

James via Google Maps / Nando’s via Google Maps

The nation’s favourite hot sauce provider, Nando’s would be the ideal place for a particularly rowdy James rugby lad to start some antics. There are bound to be a few that would dare their friends to chug progressively hotter hot sauce before their fifth Wednesday night Flares in a row, while the rest of the top floor are trying to ignore the carnage a few tables over.

Langwith – Byron Burger

Langwith via Google Maps / Byron Burger via Google Maps

Byron Burger is another establishment that gives me gourmet vibes, although perhaps not as gourmet as All Bar One. It’s much like Langwith in that regard: It’s perhaps not as upscale as Constantine, but you can still rest easy with the knowledge that you’re getting a classy experience when you head back to your Band 4 room, your mouth alive with the sumptuous taste of Byron secret sauce.

Vanbrugh – Yo! Sushi

Vanbrugh via Google Maps / Yo! Sushi via Google Maps

Whether it’s at a conveyor belt in a restaurant or at a table in a dining hall, both Vanbrugh and Yo! Sushi place you right in the middle of the action. Despite not having lectures in Vanbrugh, I must walk past at least one of the buildings every time I go literally anywhere on campus, and the same can be said for Yo! Sushi outlets if you venture into any UK town. Credit to both of them for being everywhere you can think of.

Wentworth – Caffe Nero

Wentworth via Google Maps / Caffe Nero via Google Maps

Not technically a restaurant, but it feels like there are thousands of Caffe Nero branches in York alone, so I’m counting it. Plus, as overworked postgrad students, the residents of Wentworth are going to need all the caffeine they can get. I just hope they’re holding up well.