These people want to ruin your chances of passing exams

The moment you’ve been dreading for the past three months has finally arrived, and you’re vastly under-prepared. You’re sat in the exam hall praying for a nice question and no distractions, and then you get sat next to these lot.

The Breather

This is the student who sounds like they’ve just run two marathons before sitting down in their seat.

They sit there blissfully unaware of the pain and distraction that they are putting you through, while at the same time constantly writing, so whenever you glance up to glare at the back of their head you feel even worse because they clearly know exactly what they’re writing about.

This continues throughout the exam while you spend your time trying to work out how you could possibly claim impaired performance to the exam board.

Nah you’re alright

The Cheater

They haven’t done a jot of revision in the lead up to the exam, and so sneak their notes in. Constantly checking them under the table, you have a moral dilemma.

Do you stand for this, while you’ve been working your arse off trying to learn the module in two days, or do you catch the eye of the high-vis man who has somehow managed to miss him unfolding numerous pieces of paper on his lap throughout the exam?

Essentially if you don’t want to look like a dick, you keep quiet and take the moral high ground. And the lower grade.

Don’t worry it will be okay

‘Can I go to the loo?’

This person is up and down more than the uni’s trampolining team.

Every five minutes they’re off again, getting the invigilator over, meaning you can’t do any work until you’ve seen an invigilator notice her, stroll over, ask what’s wrong and only then let them get up and go.

Then comes the inevitable screech as they just push the chair back right into your desk, causing your pen to cross out every word you’ve written before that point. Then they come back, and repeat the entire process again.

The extrovert

You know the type. Topknot. Bandanna. Edgy jacket. Swimming shorts. Flip Flops. Probably a snapback knocking about somewhere.

Instead of cracking on with your exam, you’re too busy worrying about what’s possessed him to dress like that. Which at the end of the day is none of your business, but it still winds you up. A lot.

The mate

Possibly the worst out of all of them. They inevitably always end up sitting directly behind you, within perfect kicking distance.

As soon as they see you looking like you’re getting into the groove of the essay, they feel the need to aim a surprisingly powerful kick at the back of your chair, not only jerking the pen out of your hand, but also kicking that brilliant idea you were just about to write down out of your head.