The Nucleus effect: A humanities student takes on King’s Buildings for the first time

As a third year English Student, I felt it was high time that I asserted my presence at the King’s Buildings. I’ve lost many a friend to King’s Campus; as the years have gone by and the work loads increased, one by one, my STEM friends have migrated to the far off land that is the science buildings, raving about the magical and ambiguous “Nucleus”.

It was very disheartening; these were once pioneers of the Main Lib fourth floor. I was forced to acquire my Nile Valley Wrap alone. The betrayal cut deep. Anyway, here is my review and rundown of my day at the King’s Buildings as someone who has never ventured there before.

11:17am – Bus time

Felt like high school again with my little young scot card. Spotted some wild Marchmont Girlies at the bus stop. Very promising start to my day of conquering King’s. 10/10 (Who doesn’t like free stuff).

11:45am – Murchison House

I didn’t like it the exterior decor was giving flats not university building. It reminded me of my first year accommodation. The cafe was a cafe. And there were no blackboards with tricky unsolved questions on them for me to dazzle the STEM professors with my natural mathematic ability, Will Hunting style. Was devestated, to say the least. 4/10.

The rain is a metaphor for my disappointment.

12:23am – Joseph Black Building

I saw some labs which looked very fun. I wanted to ask the scientist people if they could do the Elephants Toothpaste experiment that they show you in high school, but they looked very hard at work so I restrained myself.

Most Read

From £60k to £1.5million: How much the I’m A Celeb 2024 campmates are being paid

Tulisa ‘raging’ about I’m A Celeb axe and has wiped all evidence of the show from her Insta

I’m A Celeb’s GK Barry has a stonkingly huge net worth, here’s how she made her fortune

I also found some information boards (finally).

What could these ancient symbols possibly mean ?

In fairness this building was quite cool. Nothing like anything I’d seen on Main Campus. 6/10.

13:05 – King’s Buildings

This is when things took a turn. Potterow could never. This place had ping pong, pool tables, and microwaves. And a rogue STEM friend I hadn’t seen in months.

Pasta = hot

Lunch = defeated.

However, you did have to give the cafe your student card in exchange for a ping pong ball. Bit of an overkill in my opinion. Like the university can afford to rebuild Teviot but they can’t splash out on some extra ping pong balls.

I would worry the presence of ping pong would prevent me from ever actually studying. Not that I’m complaining.

Someone get Peter Mathieson on the line, I would like to challenge him to a ping pong dual in exchange for my grades from second year. 7/10.

13:57 – The Nucleus

Holy moly. If I was studying a STEM subject, I would never leave this place. It’s so clean and shiny. And just all around good energy. I understand now why so many people never shut up about the Nucleus.

So much green. So much life. It’s almost as if the uni want you to be happy here.

Why could I actually live in the Nucleus. There’s showers, food, study pods, hot water. They have everything. I wonder how long someone could survive here without being caught.

It’s giving McDonalds.

There’s fun booths to study in and calming art work. AND A WRAP STATION. I just don’t know how I can go back to the main lib now. My standards have changed. Life is different now. I’m different now.

Entering through the exit because King’s Campus is mine now.

All in all, 10/10. Would go again. I apologise for any King’s Buildings slander.

Related articles recommended by this writer:

• Big Cheese and bigger egos: The red flags haunting Edinburgh Uni’s men
• Debunked: The Edinburgh Uni myths that simply aren’t true
• From dark academia to Y2K: Navigating Edinburgh Uni’s current fashion trends